Every time I try to sleep is when I start to notice my heartbeat and how I have not been myself for a while. And I start to think, dang! What is wrong with me? Why can't I just be me again? I have slept approximately 6 hours of real sleep and than like another 2 hours laying there feeling like I am not real, which is the depersonaliztion. I have to drink to get myself to even try and lay down.