Before October 20, 2006, I was actually a fairly fun-loving, happy-go-lucky sort of guy. Yes, there were things like career and my future in general that bothered me. In fact, on October 20, I arranged a meeting with someone to start my Master' project. And I received a new project for one of my classes that looked rather intimidating. However, I would not have suspected that this might cause problems. But problems are precisely what occurred. I went to bed as usual. But I just could NOT fall asleep for the world! This worried me. Finally, I fell asleep at around the time I normally get up and stayed asleep for a few hours. But I just didn't feel right the next day. In the evening, I started to feel somewhat anxious about going to bed again. And like the previous night, I could not sleep. As the night progressed, I started to feel REALLY anxious and almost reached a panic state. Since that time, I have felt anxious most of the time (sometimes for no perceivable reason but mostly because I am afraid that I will not get better). I have also felt depressed at times, sometimes for a few weeks at a time (mostly over my condition). The world feels somewhat unreal much of the time. I still don't sleep too well. I often have to take lorazepam to sleep (but I don't take it at any other time, and I am on no other meds). And I have even experienced some mild OCD-type symptoms from time to time (harm thoughts, which the sticky lists as an anxiety symptom, and which my therapist said will probably subside if/when the anxiety does). These thoughts a It feels like this whole thing MIGHT be getting a little better with time. I do seem to have more energy and motivation than at first. And the surreal feelings are not as persistent. But it's hard to say. And I can still have some REALLY bad days or weeks. I also continue to feel REALLY scared that this is the way the rest of my life will be. Furthermore, my therapist WON'T tell me that this is a condition that time will simply take care of.
Have you ever heard of anxiety coming out of the blue and knocking you to the ground like this? Could it just be that stress has taken its toll? Is there reason to hope that I can recover from this? Or is this going to be something that will be with me for years to come, possibly the rest of my life?