New and desperate!

[kaykayen]

Hello, I'm 19 and have a history of mental health issues, but recently my anxiety and OCD has intensified.

I was diagnosed at about age 15 with severe depression, and I also had mild anxiety. My main problem was my depression, but I did have some panic attacks. I saw a psychologist and was also put on Prozac (60mgs per day). After going on Prozac I improved immensely.

A few months later, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer which she had to undergo radiation and chemotherapy for as well as a masectomy. This has resulted in her having to use oxygen and also use a wheelchair when walking long distances (eg. Shopping centre). I was OK during this, but I think now I am beginning to develop issues surrounding it.

This year I moved out of home into a rental with my partner. I am no longer on prozac.

Over the last few weeks I have begun to have intense fears of death/dying or becoming ill. These thoughts are obsessive and intrusive and disrupt the entirity of my day. Honestly, I DO NOT STOP thinking about it. It's driving me crazy, and I feel like I'm going crazy. I am starting to have small panic attacks, and I am constantly on edge and restless. I have had a fair few sleepless nights. I also fear getting old.

I am unable to live life 'in the moment' and I'm constantly thinking of what ifs.

I really hope that I will be able to combat this difficult time in my life with help from this website and I will hopefully also be going back to a counsellor and if needed go back on prozac.

Anyway, long story! But thank you if you read it. Hope to get to know you.

[angie]

Hi there I can relate to your issues...I too have a horrible fear of dying....I think I'm gonna have a heart attack, stroke...or end up with some horrid disease I go to sleep with these thoughts and wake up with them-.- right now I'm thinking I have some brain infection or something cuz I'm having sinus issues!!! Sometimes I can't stand myself...anyway, if u need anybody to talk to, I'm a very good listener, I've been told...just pm me:-)

[agraves911]

You said that you weren't on the proc anymore. Maybe you need to be put back on. And it's normal that your moms cancer would trigger issues for you. Also moving to a news place may also trigger issues.