It's gotten worse

[ilda1]

About month ago I wrote a thread regarding my fear of dying young.
It's gotten worse. I went to my therapist since I started having derealization attacks and panic attacks, shes says I might be suffering from depression.
I cry everyday, I am a total bitch to my mom and sister and all I do is worry about my future and cry cry and cry.
I guess I just don't understand why some people have to die young. I just don't grasp the fact why people have to leave so soon when they could have had a bright future. I guess Im just sensitive but it just really makes me sad. I want to do so much in my life and be someone and travel and just live the life i have always dreamed of, im just scared it will be cut short and it really scares me. I know I just have to live now in the moment but its easier said then done. I haven't had any loses in my life either. Besides my 2 grandpas but it really didnt affect me. I did stop having contact with my dad and he doesn't really care about me and my sis so I guess that really did affect because I really loved my dad he really was the best dad anyone could have. My mom is starting to worry about me, she really thinks something is wrong with me since i am 16 and this isnt normal for 16 year olds to think about. I live in Sweden and to be honest its pretty good here. I havent seen any accidents and everyone drives good and stuff, its not like america (america is kinda crazy no offence) but I still can't grasp the fact about death. Im not scared of dying at an old age I find it peaceful, but when you have to leave at such a young age it just makes me depressed and down. I love my life so much and I dont want it to be cut short I worry every single day and I just cant take it anymore I want my old life back. I can't picture my future anymore either. I used to able to see myself and be like wow I cant wait to do this and that, Its just dark and I'm so scared. Please can someone talk to me (nothing religious dont follow any religion) so I can be happy again.

(I've lost touch with most of my friends, I cant concentrate in school, I always think something bad is goiing to happen)

[dazza]

Blimey...

Death was the last thing on my mind at 16. My hair, cider and girls were! :-)

Poor love, you've really dug a hole for yaself haven't you?

The thoughts you are having are a RESULT of being depressed. You are depressed, probably because of the situation with your Dad or moreover, the family separation.

I assume your ma & pa have split and that you live with your ma & sis?

Dying young is of course a depressing & cruel event - you're not wrong... but this is why we don't normally think about it.
In your case, you DO think about it (often) so this is why you feel so down.

Unless you have some life-shortening disease then I can assure you that you're not going to just drop dead. This doesn't happen.
Life is self sustaining and is designed to prevail until age gets the better of us.

99.9% of the population will die OLD. Only the 0.1% very unfortunate die young because of an accident or inherent illness.

[ilda1]

Blimey...

Death was the last thing on my mind at 16. My hair, cider and girls were! :-)

Poor love, you've really dug a hole for yaself haven't you?

The thoughts you are having are a RESULT of being depressed. You are depressed, probably because of the situation with your Dad or moreover, the family separation.

I assume your ma & pa have split and that you live with your ma & sis?

Dying young is of course a depressing & cruel event - you're not wrong... but this is why we don't normally think about it.
In your case, you DO think about it (often) so this is why you feel so down.

Unless you have some life-shortening disease then I can assure you that you're not going to just drop dead. This doesn't happen.
Life is self sustaining and is designed to prevail until age gets the better of us.

99.9% of the population will die OLD. Only the 0.1% very unfortunate die young because of an accident or inherent illness.

Thanks for the reply I was born a worrier. Yes Im perfectly healthy but i also am a hypochondriac, I thought I had a brain tumor this summer. The thing with my dad really made me sad. My dad lives in america and we live in sweden, my parents got divorced in 2008 and we moved here in 2010. He visits sometimes but this summer he said he just didn't want contact with us and that he has a girlfriend and a new life. I guess that really did effect me and make me think about more than I should. I am very healthy and am blessed that I am, sometimes I wonder why I worry since I do have a very good life, and I dont suffer from cancer and im not fighting for my life or anything. I guess I just realized that life is short ( I wish I was immortal) Thanks for the quick reply! made me feel better

[dazza]

Bless ya sweetheart.

Human life only seems short when you compare it to something that lives or has lived many multiples greater than ourselves.
Our average lifespan is around 85 and when you actually think about it, this is quite a length of time really.

Everyone thinks "life is short" at some point in their life and the reality can be quite a smack in the face.
How we react to this distinguishes WHO we are, and in particular, distinguishes the positive and negative thinkers amongst us.

For example; some people will dwell on this forever and become miserable. For others, it's just another fact or a bit of knowledge... so what, who cares... they're gonna go about having some fun anyway.

You're family split has temporarily made you a negative thinker and it is for this reason that you are dwelling on death.
Simple as that.

What's happened has happened.
Shit - yes, but it's happened poppet.

In time, hopefully soon... the dust will settle, you'll accept everything for how it is and BAM, you'll find yourself enjoying life again.

[vonnhelsing]

i am EXACTLY the same as you. i can't live normally cause all i think about is that im about to drop dead. everytime i feel okay and im happy i instantly get depressed again thinking whats the point of being happy if im gona die soon anyway?.... it's so bad.. it's scary... i'm an insane hypochondriac. in my mind i've had every disease in existance!! at the moment my brain is convinced i've got a serious heart condition because my left hand has been feeling numb and tingly..
the truth is, if you're healthy, then you are going to live a long life!!! eat well and don't get yourself in dangerous situations.
girl you're so young. enjoy your life! DYING IS THE LAST THING YOU SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT!