jesus christ, i have the exact same problem. look at my thread. I am asking myself the EXACT SAME QUESTIONS. I keep questioning everything. I'm also incredibly emotional now. I wasnt able to cry for a year, but now everything is setting me off. Reading what you wrote is making tears stream down my face. In relief, I guess. I thought I was the only one who had this thought process, and I actually thought I was having a delusion. It is so scary, because there is nothing you can do or say or have anyone else say to make you feel better.