fear of swallowing and automatic beathing

[same]

Hello,

This is just a query to see if anyone else has these symptoms:

I am a recovering Agoraphobic/many other phobia/anxiety issue type person. I had symptoms like everyone else suddenly hit me about 18 years ago and have been recovering every since. i can fly over seas and drive and work and everything using many mind and thought techniques I learnt from a cognitive therapist.

I went to a sport event tonight and had to sit in a chair crammed in with many other people as you do in sporting event seating. This doesn't bother me now that I can deal with enclosure and crowds,HOWEVER, tonight I was fine for a while, then moderatley quickly I get this weird feeling that I want to manually control my breathing and I feel like I do not deserve to live since all humans are downward spiraling viruses on the earth. What I mean is that I must have had a thought that I am contributing to the demise of our planet and mankind by being a thoughtful but average consumer, and it made me feel like i didn't deserve to exist. I this is not true but in some sense it made sense to me and I wished we would all die and the plants and animals can rule again in harmony.

So, I was eating some sushi and drinking a beer and I started choking. I was ok after a bit and from then on I chewed my food for ages and ages because every time I went to swallow, I would assume I was going to choke on my food, so I got that sudden panic that stops you swallowing and makes you breath in. I went on like this for about an hour, then gave up and stopped eating.

Then for the next 2 hours of flippn hell, I had to sit confined, next to everyone, and try to act normal as each breath I took made my brain think that I wasn't going to take another one, so I kinda manually took one that felt wierd and then I'd get the panic response where you kick your leg out involuntarily to distract yourself enough to regain composure but it went on and one and I was sort of doing that annoying half cough throat clearing thing because my stupid brain thought I needed to all the time as an OCD thing or to help it distract me or whatever it was doing.

Has anyone else had this? I used to have it bad when I had hangovers, but I stopped drinking much years ago and only have 1 or 2 beers now to avoid that. Nowdays though, 2 beers sometimes makes me wake up rough which sucks as everyone else can always have an excellent time and get tipsy and wake up for breakfast and a jog where as I would wake up late and choke myself to near death with anxiety for the next 12 hours.

So, what is up with this stupid manual breathing, chocking dieing thing.

Oh, and when the sport event was over, I got up and walked out and as my brain became distracted enough it calmed down for a second, then suddenly I was around a lot of people and I went into full panic mode, got so dizzy I was walking sideways and and I swear that I was going to die right there from hyperventilating/not breathing.

Seriously it is like my body is doing all it can to stop me breathing and kill me. That's probably another reason I feel like I am not wanted on earth too.

So, I have to go oeverseas again in 2 months and I thought I was ok until tonight which blew my confidence out of the water a mile high.

Can anyone shed any light or relate to this please.

thank you

[mranxiety]

I cant actually believe I read this.

I thought I was the only one that got this. The stupid leg kick, the manual breathing and trouble swallowing.

I usually have to give up eating and drinking.

[jon mike]

You can't believe your reading it because its been described really well, yes I've had this, I say had this, I've lived this, for 15years, it's all over now, I to used cbt to help me, it really worked for me, sounds like this just came up and bit you in the arse though and sometimes it can be that quick its hard to put everything you have learned into practice, I know because I know! It's practice isnt it, choking thing and breathing thing I also used to blame on alcohol with me, the next day being pure hell, I can go out now and have a good time and wake up and just watch myself thinking what really is the worst that could happen to me? Realistically? What? Haven't you felt what you assume you're gonna feel like a billion times before? Sounds just like a generalised anxiety attack to me, I woke up early this morning suddenly, around 4am, no reason at all, first thing I noticed was my breathing, years ago I would have dived out of bed going out of my mind, trying to distract myself from it, apply your techniques to it and go on your overseas trip man, what's the worst that can happen, if you need any advice pm me, Jon

[alankay]

Same, sounds like you're having a peak in your anxiety level. Try not to give much weight to the symptoms of anxiety(there are soo many). Rather think "OK, what is going on in my life/family/work right now that is causing/contributing to an increase in my anxiety". Changes at work, issues at home, problems in the family, etc, etc.??
Are you on meds or just working with the great tools you developed via CBT? Both? Instead of chasing an answer to a symptom of anxiety try to locate the source. The stressor or issue that could be bothering you and work on it. Acknowledge it and/or talk about it. Then fall back on whatever resources(meds/counselor, etc) you have to get calmed down to more of a "base level" anxiety in your life.
It happens to me but it helps sooo much to know it's something, usually a passing issue/stress, at the route and helps me get calmed down and back to a much lower level of anxiety.
Hey anxiety happens and we get better at handling/managing it with time, self study, etc. PM me any time. Alakay.

[same]

Thank you for all your comments.

I am sorry to hear that other people have felt like this but as relieved at the same time to know it not just me.

Your advice is spot on and very valuable to me. I must remember to use all my CBT methods more often. I think I got to a place where I became complacence and did not practice it enough as I should. I will go back to doing more practice and I think this event was a wake up to prepare me for the trip.

I usually do meditation once every 2 days for 20 mins at a time to visualise me succeeding i the events that are coming up so that my brain thinks I have already succeeded before do it which really helps, as well as writing a lot to rationalise my thoughts so that they don't get out of hand.

I will also have to remember to go for a walk and distract myself earlier than I did last night so the symptoms don't build up and get worse, that was a bit stubborn of me.

So, thank you for your help and I will PM you for more help probably closer to leaving.

I'd love to hear about your individual methods and successes to give me inspiration if you get time.

Thanks again,

James

p.s. On another note, I started writing explicitly the thoughts and symptoms I had when traveling over seas last year so that if I dies or whatever, people could read my journal and understand what happened. I survived of course and have this cool journal of my travels. I was wondering if anyone else has done that and any ideas they may have about putting together stories from people fro around the world to make a book to help or inspire other suffers or people interested in this as a research media etc.
The stories would be raw and real and maybe we can have the solution and successful therapy methods as the resolution of each story so that people can follow the process along the way through both success and failure and hopefully with the light at the end of the tunnel for inspiration (because we all succeed in some way as we are still alive right?)

Thank you

[jon mike]

No I've never done that, I think id actually go in a shop and buy a journal like that though :-)