I'm only 17...

[twizzie]

I was prescribed Clonazepam when my father died in '06. I was 12.

I was taken off of them, and I don't even remember taking them.

But now that I'm older - I live on my own, and have gone through so much negative stuff since then that my anxiety has gotten HORRIBLE.

So, I know this is illegal but my mother witnessed my first anxiety attack and told me if I felt like I needed a clonazepam to take one. Well, my tongue was dry, I couldn't feel anything and all I thought about was "I'm dying."

So, I took a 1mg tablet and went to sleep just fine.

I started taking about one of those per week, until my anxiety persistently got worse.

For a year almost I've been taking 1mg clonazepam per day. Maybe once a month I'll take half of one extra so I can sleep if it's been a stressful day. So I'm not taking large doses nor am I abusing it per se. But I've noticed it's not helping out with my anxiety very much anymore.

I can't even go outside without feeling like I'm in a dream or not inside of my body. It's strange, yet very real. I know I'm in my body LOL It's just a weird sensation. Anyway - my anxiety. I can't be alone, out in public for more than a few hours, I can't be under pressure or even be in a public school (I'm homeschooled.) It's just...taken over my life!

I want to know how to get off of these without dying!

Here are my details:
6'1
270 LBS
Trying to be as active as I can - but my anxiety really prevents it.

I tried the breathing stuff and it doesn't work for me, neither does exercise or eating better (which i already eat as healthy as I can) and it just sucks.

Help me, please. I know I'm not a drug addict, but I have fear of becoming one because some of my family members are and have died from being one.

[twizzie]

My DR Said it was fine to be on 1mg/day from my mother - but she wouldn't prescribe them to me because she just didn't want to. this is why my mother gave some to me.