New Anxiety & Panic 1st steps to recovery need support

[laura75]

Well Im here b/c I just spent a few days in the hospital for having a panic break down. Now home on mild meds that aren't yet fully working for me, but mellowed me tons. And when I say mellowed me they mellowed my body but my mind is still going 90mph. I am stumbling around the house each day lost on what to do with my self and critical of everything I do wrong, over dramatic things about my self. I have gone through this before and recovered but it took 6 months and the right med combo. Everyone says be patient but on a day to day I feel like everything has fallen apart around me.

Just 2 weeks ago life was grand, making good money, great family life and financially stable.

I find my self angry at how did this happen, happen so fast and why can't I correct it just as fast.

Each day I wait, but each day drags on and on and Im loosing focus and interest in many of my day to day things.

I have been diagnosed with obsessive compulsive - which is I obsessively think, not actions just thoughts. Also Panic disorder. Im on meds for both in small doses and I feel some relief that I am not alone in it, but worry Im worse then everyone else.

I do better in the evenings and feel good around hubby but always a looming doom of tomorrow when Im alone.

I feel like I can't make my own decisions I kind of fallow everyone elses lead, and everyone tells me it's ok it's alright I understand you'll get through it and I will but Im sooo tired of it and surf the net searching for help and get nothing but sales pitches and deep breathing, which I do all the time and once I am done the anxiety floods back in.

Last I search for others to tell me it's alright everything will be fine, yes but when ... I know I will make it through but the minute to minute lost feeling is unbearable.

I experience self doubt, repetitive thought thinking and it's not as easy to just say stop or ignore.. when you spend all day TRYING to ignore it! Makes it worse.. yet everyone else carries on and says no big deal you'll get through it.

Just getting through this message I find my self correcting, and feeling confused as to what I was trying to say. I know this is due to the meds but lordy It's so frustrating!

ANY tips.. I've tried so many things keep busy keep breathing go forward is all I can do.. nothing interests me, nothing so far pulls me out of it and once out I begin the panic of whens it gonna come back? Again though everyone around me says stop! Its your mind... but it's a viscous circle.. and doesn't just stop!

My only escape is sleep... and I can't do that all day waiting on meds and stuff. Not to mention I often lay there thinking on and on anyways.

PLEASE ADVISE!

[marmaladesreturn]

Hi there,

Sounds like you have come to the right place to chat to others feeling the same way

Man, I know that feeling that your brain in going 100km/hr and you can't stop it. It so frustrating! And every anxiety self help article/reading just tells you to breathe is the worst part! I used to think "I am breathing, but its not working and my thoughts are now getting worse. Why does the breathing seem to work for everyone but me".

Trust me, I can empathise as I also have obsessive thoughts and anxiety.

I can tell you the thing that helped me was learning that the thoughts are just that. Thoughts. Not facts. As soon as I understood this, I found that a lot of the emotion linked to the thoughts dissolved and I was able to get my brain down to at least 50km/hr. I also found a stack of podcasts out there on Itunes that helped me learn about anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Anxiety Slayer do some great podcasts. And the Anxiety Centre website is fantastic.
I also found that the more I learnt about anxiety and the more I found out about other people with obsessive thoughts helped me realise I am not alone, nor am I going crazy.

I promise you, you are not going crazy.

Oh, the other thing that helped me was when I was finding that I was having obsessive thoughts, I would write it all down. I would write every single thought down on paper. And believe me I wrote and wrote and wrote until my hand was so sore I couldn't write anymore. This was such a simple thing to do, and it helped immensely. Again, it was one of those self help methods that everyone tells you to do but you always think it won't help. Try it out, at least it will pass the time when you are at home.

Also try to look after yourself phsyically - eat healthy and exercise.

Know that you are definitely not alone. Feel free to private message me if you want to know about other methods that have helped me.