Dating anxiety?

[lonestar]

(I hope this is a good place to post this? If not, let me know.)

I'm a 27 year old female who can't date. I think about dating, I'd LIKE to date, but the very thought of going on a date, of being in physical proximity to a guy makes it difficult to breathe and stand and think and I just want to punt and run.

And I do. I've managed a few dates, but have had a breakdown after each. This has been going on for over a decade, so needless to say, I've never had a boyfriend.

It's difficult to convey just how serious this is in a forum. Re-reading this right now, it seems like just a girl talk issue or whatever but I LITERALLY CANNOT date or be around a guy without my anxiety sky-rocketing.

Please don't think this is just a girl talk issue. I'm proactive in so many areas of my life, I take action and fix things that are wrong, but this I can't fix. It just gets worse and worse and I'm terrified I'm going to anxiety myself into this place where I'm incapable of having a relationship.

It literally makes me sick. I've thought about seeing someone, but the idea of admitting my relational failures (even to someone who's heard worse things) terrifies me.

Please for the love of all things tell me there's something I can do to get me through this. Anything could help.

And thank you.

[Fear]

you know what?
I think that first of all you have to fastely forget your failures.I was completely lost and lonely two years ago.I was victim of my fears,completely.I've been trying to do some work on me,it was hard but I've joined some goals,there's still a lot to do,but...You have to start from little step.Try to exercize to stay around guys first,for exemple.

[JoeMagaro]

Hi Lonestar,

I think far more people share this issue than are willing to admit it. I used to have crippling anxiety (especially surrounding dating.) I also went to an all-boy high school which in some ways I think made it worse.

I took simple steps every day to try and give others positive interactions. Now I'm 31 and for the last 3 years no one believes I used to be shy. (Must be how people feel after they've lost 100lbs and no one believes they used to be fat.)

Believe me. If I can get through it, anyone can.

Do you interact with a lot of people in your job?

Best.

Joe

[zxmct98]

Wow, I read this and was starting to wonder if I had registered and posted on this forum in my sleep or something! I am also a 27 year old female with horrible anxiety related to dating, so I understand where you are coming from. A lot of people would also not mistake me as shy and would be surprised to know that I have such crushing anxiety when it comes to dating.

I dread it.

It's not the normal "butterflies". I have a date this weekend and I am dreading it. Absolutely dreading it...and if someone were to tell me that it just means I don't really like him, well, I've always felt this way. I dread the idea of him calling or texting, I dread the idea of sitting and chatting, even though I'm actually fairly good at conversation, I dread it all.

I think my fight or flight response mechanism is out of whack.