Dave's Dairy

[salvator here]

OMG ... that was so cool! I have a huge vinyl record collection and enjoyed that music very much

Thank you for your concern about the noise outside. Yeah, The lady down the hall was so scared and the new fella that moved in downstairs was saying it was scary. I talked to him and he is so sweet, maybe 22 and trying to manage here. Mentality of like 12YO and he described the machine (mulch machines) as caterpillars that suck up things. Ha. I did go outside that day and it helped somewhat, but I can see how it would seem scary.

Hope your grandson gets better and sometimes 24 hour virus, but need to wash hands and just be cautious.

Hope you enjoy Netflix and sleep.

I will write more later tonight after I watch your progress. Gosh I remember day 2 and 3 and now day 18. I hate to say this, you said you though you wouldn't make it had you continued that way you were, I think you saved your own life. You look healthy and bright.

[Ponder]

I hope the new guy downstairs is not vulnerable to any outside influences. Thus far I think you have only spoken positively about the complex you live in. I hope he will be ok. Let's also hope that now its been a little time since all that noise happened that nothing new starts up just as you guys have recovered. LOL - as is always the way. Perhaps not always but yea. What's the ambient street noise level like? Something you get used to and or work your own routine around? Is the road narrow or wide outside and what's both the pedestrian and traffic noise like during its peak? Is your street near any main artery or used as a short cut? I'm hoping you are used to it whatever it is that and you don't have too many noise makers in your actual complex. I think I remember you saying it was good like that?

Yea man - I was in chest pain territory for sure before eating clean. Fact is I still have to be careful as there are many stores where something comes loose in the arteries when on a comeback going hard with exercise after letting one's self go for so long. That's when you easily end up having heart attack when exercising. More meaning I am in that category right now if I go too hard at this current point. That is where water fasting can be great for later on; once you lose that weight. I really need to lose the toxins stored in my fat before water fasting as then I will be able to water fast much longer. Due to compromised organs my body shuts down much quicker than other fasters when doing water only. I do love the water fasts though. I feel like a million bucks after doing one of those and food is so much more vibrant ... even the chemically soaked kind. It really is a shame that Fresh Organic Produce in only unaffordable for most. I guess that may depend on where you live OR even if you can afford it, finding a good shop that has enough range of nutrients can be hard. I've seen a few places start up but like variety when it comes to peoples diets. The only one organic outlet that has lasted is more people are wealthy to boot and even then they do not give you a choice but a box with whatever comes. That to me is not good enough. I have varied tastes ad like to have a choice in what comes.

All that said, it's still better to eat fruit and veggies even if they are much more lacking in vitamins and minerals as well as still imo toxic no matter how much you wash them. Fact is, that danger of eating processed food, salts, sugars, process oils and yadda yadda is going to kill one quicker than non-organic veggies. The latter do not get stuck in your system and despite today's depleted soils - still have some iota of Vits & Mins in them. If you eat a LOT of them and do it a certain way (not over cooked - mostly raw and slightly cook) then yea - can be still way better than what you find in refine pills. Walking is the next best thing and whilst I hate to say it ... a certain level of metabolic resistance training - BUT - I take out the word training as I am really done with the term exercise as is now administered in today's society. LOL - just another form of toxicity that does more to damaged the body when view as such. Those that don't see that now, will in their later years. Just another thing that feeds the conveyor belt of the medical industry.

OK OK - enough ranting ... it does help though to keep me on track and find a new gentler path the is going to stick. I have a good plan this time around so that I can include some routine with a little body resistance to speed things up a little bit but NOT going to over do it. My balance ball arrived today which will provide me a good base of remedial exercise where my shoulder is concern. I doubt I could do a sit up or even a pushup with it.

Yea man - Day 19 today and Day 20 tomorrow. I'm not into goals setting because of how toxic that feels to me with the NDIS scheme I am on. I told the new coordinator that yesterday at our first meeting. I don't think she understands. I also told her that outside of my shopping for groceries, mental and wellbeing appointments, including GP, Scans, Hearing and Optical visits and perhaps a couple more involving outdoor exposure at the most basic level that I have zero interest in reintegration into society as many of these government engineered goal orientated plans would have it. I have no idea what she wrote down when I put it to her like that but I am sure she will digest it either way. I am not sure that I ever will. I am very close to giving up all those supports once I get better but that is another story. I really do feel like the constant warranting and assessments on top of the reviews is a VERY TOXIC and DEMEANING HUMAN experience that keeps me unwell. I will never change my view on that. In fact I often find the process traumatizing where it is only the carrot on the stick that keeps my in the loop. There is something not right about that. I feel it in my being that I am on the mark with my own assessment on such and I really want to get off the NDIS because of how toxic the admin is and the impact it has on people such as myself. I have been asked to write express as much to one department that deals with human resources on some kind of government scale but I just feel like I would be pissing in the wind. I may or may not do it. Still thinking about it. Perhaps when I am feeling better and before I decide to extricate myself.

As long as I get to keep the basic disability pension which I am pretty certain is guaranteed. I would not be leaving because I am no longer permanently affected (their language is so binding and meant to be that way) but because the system as they currently have it for neurologically and mentally challenged ('stressed' a more fitting term) is more determinantal than what the carrot on the stick really has to offer. The system really is more economically focused beyond those they promote their services too which is why they view the schemes as insurance based. The interactions with disabled people are all based on legal language that adheres only to set goals of an obligatory nature where any deviation will see a client reduced but more so in that very process dehumanized being more my point. You see, they continually pressure people to keep using services based on financial reasons or otherwise your plan will be reduced. This just happened to me again yesterday during a meeting. It really is hard to explain beyond what I have expressed thus far but I will put my finger on it and submit it to whomever is claimed to be the one consider such thoughts - BUT - I think in the end I can be more than what they make me out to be. They say they have the same aims, but it is very much undermined by the way the administer and sell their goals which they say are mine. It could not be further from what makes me me.

Like I say - as long as I can afford rent, food, a rood over my head and perhaps a connection to the web as is now considered a vital connection in terms of how we are socializing on this level ... I think I want to me that my goal. There is far too much on this scheme on am on that is very demeaning and inhumane. Your become more a product rather than a client that is human. Their policies and producers are ruthless in this regards.

Righto - time to go see how the little guy is. Tamps still under control but still has sore tummy and slightly warm.

Catch up later.

[Ponder]

Just a quick one,

He is doing much better now Sal. He helped me with some food prep, brightened up and ended up taking in a bowl of slow cooked porridge and coconut sugar. The latter the lessor of two evils.

Hope your day / evening was also better?

[salvator here]

Just a quick one,

He is doing much better now Sal. He helped me with some food prep, brightened up and ended up taking in a bowl of slow cooked porridge and coconut sugar. The latter the lessor of two evils.

Hope your day / evening was also better?

That is so good to hear - I'm doing ok I guess. I slept a lot today and ate a nice soup dish as well. Not exactly that most healthy as is was potato and bacon stew ... haha

I figured I'd offer a hand for others that may want to join us here from the MSFN forum. Perhaps around the holidays people might need support or want to talk with us here anxiety or no anxiety. I'd like to say we're just a normal group here, but I'm glad to say I wouldn't want to be anything at all resembling "Normal" in this world. We are real I will say that much and genuine people. I hope our little forum will pick up soon.

Gonna look for something on Hulu tonight as I've not looked in a while. Should check out shdder as well. I'll let you know if I find something worth watching.

[Ponder]

You for sure let me know if you find anything worth watching. I know subject but do run it past me all the same. I would really appreciate that. I spend so much time looking these days compared to actually watching. Netflix can get depressing like that. hehe

Yea man, I here ya about a little more life in the forum. All the best with that and happy to oblige in an encouraging way and or bite my lounge when needed. Smiles.

If you don't mind, what is MSFN forum?

I installed Zoom Sal ... thinking about some groups online. What ones I don't know. I mean I installed it on my beasty computer before swapping to this one here. I will show this OptiPlex off in my next video. Could you please link your distribution of Linux if not too much trouble?

You made me hungry Sal ... Oh yea - maybe on my next relax day I would be open to making my own soup like that. I am still eating red meat as well. Just no where near as much. I think moderation is good with some foods. Maybe one day I will get back to that level ... but will for sure have to be a dedicated off day that is not often kind of thing. May once every two weeks. Right now though, I am still treading myself as hard care addict in rehab. It's working thus far.

[Ponder]

Sorry Sal - Just saw the MSFN post. I think I get it now. All good. I see how that goes before making an entrance or perhaps I should extend a welcome too? Sometimes when so quiet I feel like I am walking on eggs shells Glad your here to welcome like so. Good call! Is all we can do.

[Ponder]

Because my other computer is tied up I am now using different thumbnails. In this one I show off my OptiPlex Computer.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz




*****EATING CLEAN *****

[Ponder]

Family is home - going to take a few days break but will focus on my clean eating countdown for a bit. I am hoping the space will allow for others to come forward Sal. See what happens. Maybe I come back in a weeks time or thereabouts. You know where to find me. Feel free to use PM as well. I might even do so myself.

[salvator here]

Sure, enjoy your break and I'll message you later today just to say hello. Always good hear and see your doing so much better.

I've only messaged a few people on here all these years. Although I'm not shy posting, I am somewhat 1-to-1 chating. Really strange, had a few bad times chatting many years ago and I now have a phobia, I guess and never use the chat rooms. No chat apps at all on my computers since (maybe) 2013. I am very shy in real life. Timid.

I do love my OptiPlex and the Dimension; as well, they've have been with me thought so much. The Dimension forces you to take your time ... haha. I like your monitor too.

I'm still on Emmabuntus DE2 32bits (Debian 9 Stretch XFCE i686) actually, but I'm having trouble find the old link. Will look harder.

EDIT: I think this isi the link.
https://sourceforge.net/projects/emm...6.iso/download

Talk later

[salvator here]

I think moderation is good with some foods. Maybe one day I will get back to that level ... but will for sure have to be a dedicated off day that is not often kind of thing.

Was going to ask if you could "Cheat" every now and again without trigger. I don't eat too bad compare to some, still need to improved and let up on sugar.