Hi All
Merry Christmas.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while. He has always told me he finds commitment scary and fears away from a serious relationship.
For quite a while, I noticed when we go out or are in work. Whenever a woman walks past, he stares at their bottom. If we are in the pub, he looks over at a table and stares at other women.
When talking to women in work. He talks with them and starts smiling. Like flirting. He starts to eye them up and down and smiles. Whilst I am there.
Last night, he was interacting with a colleague. He was laid-back. Eying her up and smiling. All of a sudden, I noticed his legs spread wide open and he was fidgeting in her presence. I was convinced he was getting turned on.
I was hurt. Hurt by the fact that he did this right in front of me.
Today I pulled him up. He informed it's a man thing. He gets a buzz when speaking to people and he enjoys it. He tried to assure it was innocent and he wouldn't have acted on it. He couldn't deny it. He then dropped saying, he felt something was there. I questioned him on what he meant and was convinced he was referring to his feelings towards this staff member. He assured he didn't mean that and he hardly knows her. Only except they always talk when she comes to the office.
He apologised and said he shouldn't of done it and it now has made him conscious.
He said, he had it on his mind through out the afternoon.
It left me with a lot of insecurity thoughts and low self worth. Now I'm convinced if he has a choice, he will sleep with another woman if he gets a chance. That he doesn't want me. That he will cheat on me.
I'm not sure if I am over reacting. To stare a lot at different women in front of me - I can't help but feel insecure.