Hi and welcome

I always had anxiety but it didn't get bad until I was at a strict private school. I wouldn't have dared refuse to go and was pretty much a straight A student. Then I went to university and was in the top 15% of all undergraduates (at one of Melbourne's top uni's). Well I broke down at the start of second year with severe anxiety and had to defer a year, then went back and finished. But I was using alcohol and benzos to cope and ended up on a disability pension for anxiety, depression, alcoholism etc.

I'm 43 now and looking back, my parents meant well but the whole thing backfired horribly and instead of a doctor or lawyer they got an alcoholic mess. But this story gets worse! My younger brother - who was never pushed as hard and went to a normal school and no university - overdosed on heroin and benzos in Feb 2014 and died. He had a decent job as a cabinet maker, a house in the suburbs and a couple of kids. He'd been diagnosed with anxiety as well and was on anti-depressants but he had a history of drug use (he'd been a musician) and I suspect he was stressed and/or bored with his "normal" life.

If there's any moral to this story I'd say it's to allow people to be who they are and not try to force them into any mould. I have a 15yo daughter myself and she gets anxiety but not to the extent she refuses school (she's not exactly a model student though lol). She actually lives interstate with her father, which is a whole other can of worms for me, but she knows my story and my brother's story and I think at least that takes the pressure off her to be something she isn't.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you can take something from my story which helps with your daughter.

All the best,
Gypsy x