You're a teenager - I'm guessing there are numerous scientific writings saying that what you are feeling and experiencing are totally normal for someone your age. Whereas many teenagers might now even recognise it, you have some self awareness which is a double edged sword. Take tiny steps to get on top of the things you need to do and try not to be so hard on yourself. It's actually a really good thing that you recognise your coldness to your family. Better than not recognising it. Like the control of a heating system, try to turn the control to a little warmer and see how you change people's attitude to you. You'll be amazed what power you suddenly have and the ability to make them happy.