Look, it's true that you don't sound as bad as you think you are. Procrastination is very common, I'm the queen of it. Your relationship with other people is something you should work on, ask yourself why you feel this way. I feel the same way too, usually I don't like it when my parents come to stay with me for a few days because I'm used to being all by myself, I'm too strict on my little sister and once she told me she's afraid of me. I felt like such a horrible person that I cried a lot afterwards. I think anxiety has something to do with it though, it can make you irritable and it's hard to concentrate when you're experiencing it. I think you have issues to work on, but you're putting yourself through disproportional guilt.