I don't know if people can actually relate to this, but I often go through life with a lot of anxiety. For example talking to other people which I don't know very well or missing deadlines in my job. Which puts so much pressure on me that in the end I decide it's not worth trying anymore, because I will probably fail anyway. I then feel very bad, because I didn't do anything. I try to supress this feeling by convincing myself that this is not a big deal or in general try to distract myself. But in the evening when going to sleep I feel so bad about myself, because I worry so much and don't care at the same time. I don't know if this makes sense to you.