Originally Posted by
Aka_Hobbes
I snap at people every once in a while, most of the time its at my fiance, and it has nothing to do with her for the most part, its simply just because shes the only one around. So dont take it too personal. So it might just be because youre the only one there for him to take it out on, shitty, I know. If thats the case, and if you want to stay with him, youll just have to learn how to deal with it mentally, understand its not you, and maybe just stay away from him at times. Which leads me to my next point, he could be snapping at you because youre being too aggressive with trying to help him. I used to have acne when I was younger, and I told a couple people how depressed I was about it, so they would always ask how I was feeling. And thats awesome, its great to have people that care about you, but on days where I was in a great mood and they would ask, it would only remind me of how sad I was about it, and in turn it would make me angry at them for reminding me. Also some days I just didnt want to talk about it, so when someone asked how I was doing and I told them I didnt want to talk about it, and they kept asking, id eventually snap at them. Now I dont know your situation, but it could be entirely possible that youre being too aggressive. In my case this one person specifically would ask how I was every time I saw them, and it made me feel even worse, as if I was worse than I really was. I would think to myself I dont need someone asking how I am all the time, let me come to you, dont question me like I need constant support. It would make me feel pathetic. So think about that. Theres one more thing I wanted to mention, and this is a last resort. I dont want to be the one to tell you this, but you came here for help, so im not going to ignore the elephant in the thread. You said he doesnt show remorse for the things he says, well I was in a relationship like that. My partner would do and say things to me that no one should ever have to go through. She would always blame it on me, or say it was her anxiety, and use it as an exscuse. When it reality she was just a bad person. Now he might just be too prideful to admit he was wrong, and his anxiety could really be the cause of him being so hurtful, and if you think thats the case than ignore me. But maybe hes just a mean person. I know you dont want to believe that, and I really hope thats not the case, but have you actually thought about it? I mean when I snap at people I instantly feel horrible for it, and im extrmely upset about it until I make it right with that person, especially my fiance. If you say you love someone, and want to spend your life with them, than you should show remorse when you say things you shouldnt. I dont want anyone to have to walk away from someone they love, but if that person is hurting them and blaming it on them, maybe theyre better off without them. Please dont be upset at me for saying that, I just wanted to put it out there because anxiety can cause you to snap at people, thats normal, not saying sorry is also normal, peoples pride can stop them from apologizing because they dont want to admit they were wrong, or admit they have a problem, but blaming it on you? That makes me a little concerned. Like I said, you know youre situation better than I do, and that last bit of advice is meant as an extreme last resort, but id like for you to think about it, and really try and decided whether or not its really anxiety. Anyways I hope everything works out, sorry this was so long lol.