I used to have regular happy sex with my boyfriend. But, about three years ago something snapped. I suddenly became irrationally terrified of all things sex related. It started out where I could have sex with my boyfriend, but afterward I would be so worried about being pregnant even though I know it wouldn't be physically possible. Then I stopped having sex with my boyfriend and tried to give excuses to postpone any sex for as long as possible. But, I would still be crying every night terrified that I was knocked up. We ALWAYS ALWAYS used condoms, and i started taking birth control to keep my nerves down, but it didn't work. Then I started to have panic attacks during sex, so we stopped completely. I get so scared when I see babies, pregnant women, or children. I instantly start to think, "God that would be awful" then I have a small thought that will not go away of what if I am pregnant. I had to stop watching my favorite shows any time the story line of someone getting pregnant came up. I started to get scared of public bathrooms, the bathroom I share with my SO, the shower. I tuff through those but I don't think I should have to live like this. I get scared when I do any kind of sexual activity with my boyfriend, hand jobs, Blow jobs, It doesn't matter I still end up freaking the fuck out afterwards. I get scared of our bed sheets. My SO has always liked to sleep naked, but I just can't handle it and make him wear pajama pants. I get nervous when people touch me. Sometime's on particularly bad days I cant touch my SO, I'm scared that somehow semen will travel from him, through my pants and up into me and then I'll be pregnant. I get scared of door handles, faucet handles, chairs, etc. The other day I went to my psychologist's office and in the waiting room sat me and this woman who was nursing her baby. I was like in my own private hell. She was trying to get the baby to talk saying, "say mama, mama, ma...ma" and the baby was babbling nonstop. I held composure, but inside I was freaked. I almost left the office it was so bad. When the therapist finally called me into his office I balled my eyes out for the entire hour trying to talk to him very unsuccessfully. I tried to talk to a few friends about it to see if they feel similarly, but they always end up looking at me like wtf?. I tried talking to my boyfriend's mom about it and she could not understand what I was trying to say. I tried googling it and couldn't find anything other than like post-mortom depression, but it can't be that it cause I've never been pregnant and I don't have any kids. I just want to know, is there anyone else out there who deals with something similar.