Hey! So, I've been suffering from anxiety and depression since I was about 13, and in the last 8 months (I'm 18 now) everything just got worse and worse. We were on vacation last summer and I started to get panic attacks so bad they lasted hours and I couldn't calm down no matter what and I was shaking 24/7. I stopped sleeping and eating because I felt sick all the time and I had pretty bad nightmares. Those things calmed down over the last few months but now I'm stuck with really severe depression and my anxiety has never been this bad before. Everything gets me anxious. When the phone rings or even when the weather changes. It freaks me out to no end. I haven't left the house in over a month now. I can't handle it. Just thinking about leaving the house gets me panicking. I really want to start therapy. I had three appointments and I didn't go to a single one. The whole night before I'm having panic attacks and right before. I'm shaking so bad I can't even hold a pen. I had the last appointment in the afternoon and my mom was supposed to drive me and I planned it out very careful, but still, I couldn't do it. I was hyperventilating, shaking and crying hysterically. I don't know what to do anymore. How am I supposed to get better when I'm too anxious to go to therapy? Too anxious to even leave the house? I've tried so many things, meditating before leaving the house, distracting myself, planning everything out so that I know exactly whats gonna happen, having people I trust with me, but none of it works.