Thank you so much for your reply. I found these paragraphs to be the most helpful:

Quote Originally Posted by Im-Suffering View Post
Things are not always as they seem, you understand, and it's always about yourself, ultimately, that's where the healing takes place. After you find your core beliefs and heal, whether you stay together or not doesn't matter. You may find the 'new you' incompatible, and thus your now toying with those possibilities, feeling guilt etc in advance of any changes that may take place. There is a bit of mental precognition, you see. As you decide upon the future, which road to take.

Never fear, take heart, these emotions will not hurt you, although they may feel bad, they are just there for you to examine and grow from. You cannot stop them, so learn to feel, honor and trust.
You are a very kind person. It's true that I need to take care of myself before I can take care of anyone else, and love myself at least as much as anyone else, which isn't currently the case. I think that's a large part of my frustration: feeling, whether true or not, that I work too hard for others for not enough return. I know that relationships of any kind shouldn't be thought of that way, but if you're not getting enough out of a relationship then that's that. The problem is that my boyfriend has done everything right. He's always there for me. If it were different, if he wasn't being attentive or caring or if he was abusive it would be a much easier thing to process. But as that's not the case, and I know we've shared so much love and commitment, I want to do what I can to make this work. Of course that means working on myself; there is no other possible solution. But I think I've been hesitant because I'm afraid that working on myself will push me away from him. I can't even think about that without almost triggering a panic attack. I can't imagine being without him. So I guess I'm just hoping that helping myself won't end things for us, but bring us closer together and make us happier. Of course, I know this is secondary to my personal happiness. I just have my fingers crossed.

Thank you again for your kindness and the care you took in replying to me.