Originally Posted by
CR_Chris
I'm glad the comments are of help to you. I remember the worst anxiety episode I ever had (five years ago) and I was completely dysfunctional... I was signed off sick from work and spent every day lying on my bed in a cold sweat, utterly consumed with fear and dread. Even the smallest task like feeding the cat felt like an impossible mountain to climb. I honestly believed I'd never work again, despite the fact that I'm a successful professional. I saw everyone else whether they were a high-powered lawyer or a garbage collection guy as being more successful than me. I believed that even if I got better, work would still fire me for having taken several weeks off sick. It was pure hell.
Mornings were the worst and it gradually got "better" throughout the day until by evening I could have a beer and things almost felt bearable again. I'd be so exhausted from the panic and adrenaline and fear all day that I'd go straight to sleep. But at first light I'd wake and the horror would flood right back into me and my heart would immediately start pounding and my skin start pricking.
And yet, it passed. It didn't last forever and I got better and made a slow return to work over a few weeks. I did go on mild medication (citalopram), which to this day I'm still on, I had counselling, and I talked to those close to me. I had to work at it. But a couple of months later I was back at full speed, did some of my best ever work and felt confident and social again. At my lowest, that point seemed utterly impossible.
You have hope for sure. You definitely do, you just need to work out how to get through each day, and the people on this forum will be here to help you. I actually took to writing myself a letter each evening to read the following morning, reassuring myself that I could get through the day, no matter how dreadful I felt when I woke up.
Hope this helps.