Social Anxiety: Silent pain

[TheNightWalker]

Have you had a formal diagnosis (or testing for) - mild Autism, Aspergers -



What do you want James? (more than anything)

"If I could have anything in the world, if I could be anything, what would that be?"

"What would I look like, as the perfect me?"

And,

"When I’m around people besides family, I have racing thoughts of negativity"

What are you like around all of your family -

Ask "Which family member influenced me the most growing up?", "I turned out most like ____, i am like ______ in many ways", describe that.

And finally, for now:

"I am so critical of myself, because ______ criticized me, I just wasnt good enough, or strong enough, or smart enough, or wise enough."

"No matter what I did, or didnt do, I could never earn ________ love, or respect, admiration, or recognition"

Reveal to yourself (most importantly) through a brutally honest self exploration, examination, what the reasons are, for the unwanted behavior/thoughts/feelings/value judgments (self) - let any of these questions lead to further questions, deeper and deeper you go, until you strike a chord, a nerve. (emotionally). That will be it - you will really feel it as a truth about who you are. And if it feels badly, its a lie. Write down that belief, statement of fact about yourself, along with the associated hurtful physical memories - experiences (embarrassments, condemnation, shame, guilt, etc.), and speak to someone (therapist, or the like) about healing them.

Hello Im-Suffering,

I did some research on Autism and I didn't seem to fall under the category of symptoms listed on WebMD which is often a reliable website for medical knowledge. However, my symptoms do seem to fall under some of the categories of Aspergers and I'm going to go in-depth with my doctor on the subject of Social Anxiety next time I speak with him.

While I have many ambitions, the main thing I want is to simply be normal. While I'm alone, I have the desire to go out in the world and socialize, but once I began interacting with people, my body will experience intense anxiety and cause me to behave awkwardly. Those around me in my daily life just seem to do it so naturally while it is a complete science project for myself. Although I am constantly thrown in social interactions at my current job, my fear of socializing doesn't seem to be improving. When I think about what memory is causing me pain, being humiliated through bullying as a child and poorly evaluated by the others would be two of them.

I have thought long and hard what may be causing me to behave the way I do when socializing with others and have even caused me to independently research psychology and many mental conditions. Although the knowledge I possess is significantly greater than when I was diagnosed with my current conditions, I've known a psychologist who suffered from Social Anxiety and depression. One of the things I found to be most effective is group therapies as I was surprised to discover that other people were going through the same thing as myself and was able to relate to them on a better level compared to "Normal" people.