dorm life with anxiety.

[Kingpin]

Soooooo, Going into my freshman year I knew had a small amount of anxiety just like everyone does at some point in there life. It was ok and i made friends and i thought everything was gonna rainbows and sunshine. But then good old sophomore year rolled around and i had no roommate. I had a roommate planned for that year but he went to the army. So i got paired with a bunch of random people again for my second year. Long story short there where 6 of us in one big dorm and all 5 of them dropped out. So i lived in a dorm by myself for year. Which at first sounds good right. But not really when all the friends you had the first year either left or just act like they don't know you anymore. So for some reason i really couldn't make any new friends. It got to a point "still at that point" where i literally just go to class and don't talk to anyone, then i would come back to the dorm and stay in there until the next day. But then the weekends where fucking horrible. Because I didn't have anyone to do anything with, but the worst part was hearing other people outside my dorm room. Every weekend it just sounded like there where having the times of their life. My freshman year i had a little experience of that. But now i just sit here to fucking scared to leave my dorm room. And i know your supposed to make new friends blah blah blah but everyone already has there group. And i know im that guy invading the group and i absolutely hate that feeling. And then there are the girls, omg the girls. They are literally like right across hall down the hall in the elevator in class just everywhere. And as soon as i open the door and leave i just turn into a fucking turtle. Like i'll dead ass pump my self up then soon i open the door, turtle. I have so much on my mind when im alone, but soon as i get round other people my mind just goes blank. So when im at class i HAVE to sit in the back, because i can't be in the front or i won't be able to concentrate. I don't think i have it as bad as some people, like i can still talk if the situation calls for it, like going to the store and stuff. But as soon as i see like a possible relationship with anyone about to happen, my mind just turns on me and i go blank, and then they think weird as fuck. Like one time my Freshman year i smoked some weed, which i have done before. But this time it was around a couple of people i knew just little bit. So i was talking a little and holding my own before we started to smoke. But then when i was high i literally didn't say a word for like an hour. And there was only 5 of us so they where asking me questions and shit and i would just nod my head, or go mmmmmhh lol. But the questions they where asking where not yes or no questions and i knew that. And my mind started to race like never before. Then body started shaking and i thought i was gonna flip out right there on the couch. The drug was weed btw, it was not laced with anything. I have had this happen before with one of my homies but not this bad. So somehow i survived it without spazing out. But then all them acted like they didn't know me anymore, so i was like fuck em. But now that's exactly what happens to me with everyone else and im not even high. So i don't know anymore, im just gonna ride the wave out i guess. And damn i just realized how much i typed so if you read this whole thing you are a beast.

[gypsylee]

LOL I read almost the whole thing

I don't know - I can relate. I went to university but in Australia we don't live there as much as you do in the States (assuming that's where you are). It would've been a nightmare for me because my anxiety was really bad at that age. I don't have any suggestions at the moment sorry.

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[neverag]

I can relate to you, but I have Asperger's and I'm not sure if you do but your behavior seems a little like mine in college. I definitely stop talking when I get stoned too. Either way you just seem pretty introverted. By this I mean most of your talking is in your head, not to other people. I assume when you meet people who are like you and are forced to be around them enough (like a roommate) you will grow comfortable. But it won't be as easy for you to make friends as someone who likes to talk more. Just work on learning skills that will help you interact with others. Small talk may be tough for you?

[1Bluerose68]

How lonely sounding. I would go out into the community when NOT in class and do some volunteer and career related stuff. Then when classes are finished you just have time for meals and study and then volunteer work. Then you rest and by interacting and doing some good for yourself too in your community round school or a hospital or public place like a library or elementary school or lab . Just volunteer and who cares about NOT being so social. You will find that this volunteer experience will definately pad your resume and get you into future doors where partying w/ dorm buddies would not , anyhow. So try NOT to be so alone and reach out and make a difference at the same time. Good Luck. I know college days too. I survived as well...

[Stephj526]

Are there any groups you can join there? It's hard making friends as an adult. But I promise it does get better. Join a club or volunteer somewhere. Or maybe even a part time job? Good luck!

[abluerwhite]

This sounds similar to my undergrad experience. Whatever you do, don't do what I did. Most of my weekends were spent in my dorm room because I didn't drink and I was terrible at making friends because of it. Start talking to people in class. Join clubs. Be active on campus. Otherwise it'll be hard to make friends

[BabyJo84]

Hi! I'm at uni, but I'm a mature student, I don't have social anxiety but I have totally done the weed freak-out in my stoner days, it's awful lol you feel like such a freak just sitting there trying not to climb the walls. I quit smoking weed after getting those freak-outs quite regularly. Felt like everyone was staring at me or I was making people feel awkward. The thing with weed is it makes you paranoid so I can only imagine it would make social anxiety even worse.

I would highly recommend getting involved in volunteering. The beauty of it is, you don't actually HAVE to speak to colleagues so long as you're doing your job well. Chances are, you'll make new friends over time through work.

[dwizzite]

When you help people with their problems, your problems don't seem so bad. Like she said above, go volunteer.

[StaceyGirl88]

Yes, volunteer or find some groups to join that involve something you are passionate about. You will likely be nervous around all of these new people at first, but hey, you will meet a new group of faces that could bring about a renewed social life.

Also, just to touch on the weed thing...I know tons of people that get quiet while smoking--myself included! Those that are super social with weed will typically laugh at the quiet ones' expense every time. Just means that you don't smoke with them anymore if it makes you uncomfortable. And if your quietness while being high makes them uncomfortable, then you may want to consider moving on to new friends.