Professional Advice

[FuzzieSocks]

I'm not looking for sympathy or answers, It's mostly just you're opinion.
I told my psychiatrist about my new relationship and she said he sounds like a manipulator/controlling abuser. Not physically but mentally
she said with my conditions she think I should cut him off now because the relationship is so new it will only get worse.
I don't agree with "cold turkey". I don't want to end the relationship because I'm seeing improvement.

Does everyone always take their advice of their psychiatrist?

[NixonRulz]

I had 3 of them and all 3 sucked. Maybe I was close minded but since I thought they were not getting it, they failed to help me and didn't listen to much tthey said.

If you have one that you feel really understands and is compassionate to your condition, probably couldn't hurt

If you are just really working on yourself with anxiety, anyone that isn't a help is probably best given the ol kick to the curb

Focus on you with the right people around you and discard anyone that can set your progress back

Just my opinion!

[jessed03]

Maybe you should tell us a little more about why she thinks the guy is bad?

As Nixon said, psychiatrists can be quite hit or miss. I saw 3, two were good, one was bad.

[littleme]

You might want to consider looking for a new psychiatrist. They shouldn't be telling you what to do - especially not when it comes to major life decisions. IMO, that's not their job. Their job should be helping you to develop strategies to manage your condition and find answers for yourself.

I have had two different psychologists over the years tell me to leave a partner. The first one was spot-on, and even though it really wasn't her place to tell me to leave my (now ex-) boyfriend, she was right. The guy was a narcissist. BUT, I had to find my own path to that decision.

The second told me to leave my current boyfriend, about 5 months ago. Admittedly things were a bit shaky at that time with my guy, but I decided to hang in there (he has PTSD, so it took him a while to work up the courage to trust me), and now things are going well. I never went back to either psychologist. Even though I now understand why they gave the advice they did - both were concerned for my mental health, and both felt that these relationships were likely to increase my anxiety (which is true). The second psych said she had experience in dealing with PTSD, but she clearly knew nothing about the reality of being in a relationship with someone who has it. Kicked them both to the curb.

[littleme]

The other thing I will add is that I believe that some progress/healing can only happen from within a relationship. And relationships are hard work even one or both of you have anxiety, so things won't always be ideal between you at all times. That is just the nature of relationships. So your psych may have gotten the wrong end of the stick, based on what you've said.

Notwithstanding what I wrote above, I think it's still worth paying attention to what your psych has told you, and try to evaluate it objectively. It is possible your boyfriend IS being manipulative and controlling. The way to be sure is to make sure that you have set realistic and respectful boundaries for yourself in this relationship. If your boyfriend routinely tries to trample on your boundaries, then you do need to be questioning how healthy your relationship is. Have a look at this article, which elaborates on how to set boundaries and what to set boundaries about - google a UK website called Baggage Reclaim, and search for the article called: "Building boundaries for healthier relationships" (sorry, I don't have the ability to post links yet).

Hope it helps. Again, no psych should be telling you what to do. But if they've made comments like that, then that means that they have detected a 'red flag', either in your behaviour or his, that may indicate that the relationship is not healthy. Please note, I said MAY. They might be right, and they might be wrong, but it's worth investigating further and making an informed decision for yourself. Never blindly accept advice from others - no matter who they are. Investigate and educate yourself, then decide.

[FuzzieSocks]

Thank you all for replying. I decided to go with my own decision.