yet another depressed individual

[Im-Suffering]

"Every now is a new day"

Often times there are no words to describe a feeling in concrete terms, and here, i am struggling i must admit. So bare with me - but you are surrounded by your idea constructions, and as long as you hold those same limiting ideas, you cannot change any aspects of your life. So i design my posts to open a tiny door, of the imagination just enough to let a little light in. Sometimes you need to rebuild self, by shattering core beliefs.

I am saying that over time you have set boundaries for yourself, what you are able to explore - and where the limits are that like an electric fence, bounce you back if you stray to far out of bounds. From this limiting system of beliefs came multiple decisions including moving back home. The feelings about money, and your parents also come from this belief set. If indeed the universe is a xerox machine, and you create your reality, then your current reality is within that framework, no exceptions. Meaning you have nothing beyond those fences, mentally or physically. You simply cannot achieve more than you think you can, and what you think you can is limited by your beliefs about who you are individually, and in relation to the world.

Since beliefs are your facts about life, and often go unquestioned (example, the world is flat, until no one fell off) you are on auto pilot, recreating the day to day experience as the universe spits out carbon copies of your thoughts and expectations. But I want you to see those thoughts and expectations are illusions based off false ideas about who you are, and what you are capable of. Also what the world is, and your relationships with other people. You certainly cannot live your ideal life, your dreams, while under such a trance.

And that is the great truth, as you create your reality, by your expectations and thoughts, as the universe recreates your thoughts in physical terms, you are so entranced by it, that you forget your hands in it. As if you were to keep putting glove after glove onto your hands, eventually you would lose feeling, you would be out of touch with your hands, and forget you could even use them to feel. You would say "I have no feeling in my hands, so I wont touch that", when all you need to do is take the gloves off.

So even though you are creating your reality, you are doing it with multiple life-times of gloves on to cover the pre-existing hurts and pains acquired through living, misinterpreting reality, and entranced by your own constructions. Each day when you wake up unless you begin to make changes, you are functioning like an autobot - and the sorry state of affairs is you didnt even realize that. This is what enlightenment is all about, this i am teaching you.

Now remember, your parents, your girl, your peers at work, all of them, unless one is a mystic...They are dead to life too. A walking zombie that reacts to circumstance instead of purposefully controlling their own mind and directing it toward some fulfilling purpose, you see. And so you are stuck among the zombies yourself, on automatic. Your beliefs attract those people and events. Dont be surprised that once you begin to question your ideas about life, you might lose some relationships as you no longer share the same beliefs, attracting you to the same experiences. Its all learning you understand.

You are learning the power of self and your idea constructions - by physically experiencing your thoughts. You must examine your whole belief system for integrity and value, not to the child inside, but to the current self. The hurt child inside cares what daddy does with his money, because he angry or fearful (I asked for that toy and he did not care enough to get it for me, I felt unloved), where the current self couldnt care, dad can do as he wishes, and you can do the same. So you will find a great deal of the beliefs you are running on automatic as an adult, are outdated from a childs perspective. You are in a very real sense a small child in a mans body reacting to life day to day from his perspective because you never thought to question your beliefs (childhood conditioning), and thus you are living in a 10 year olds world of hurt, jealousy, guilt, shame, blame -

You understand ?

You say "Why do I have this thought", "Who is having this thought?", "and where does this thought come from?" then you dig and dig until you uproot the distortion. The belief or thoughts that generate the feelings you want to get rid of.

And so the part of my first post you didnt quite get, here is the answer - You want to create what is in your best interests, in your highest regard for self, by making clear judgements about reality (what you have created) and if you are not happy with any aspect of it, you want to purposefully think and act in ways that will make you happy. If that is difficult, then you would know you have a conflict of beliefs that you need to settle. For example if you want to be a good person, you cannot hold the belief "I am bad", and "I am good" at the same time. You must look at the offshoots of "I am bad", the bridged beliefs that go along with it and work on changing them. Offshoots could be "I am poor" or "I have no luck with relationships" because they would be closely related and because of the core which is "I am bad", period. You can see how that can destroy a life.

Lastly for today, your imagination is the key to finding beliefs in memory, and creating your life. Your life is the way it is today because of the repeated beliefs that you play out in your imagination. This creates your future tomorrows. You literally walk into tomorrow from todays ideas of it. So I it would behoove you to learn to control your mind, in a sense that knowing this you can create purposefully. And by the way, there are no exceptions here, like disease, car accidents, pain and suffering, money or lack of it, if you are robbed, all of the experiences you encounter, are of your own creation, some on a larger scale are created en mass by you and a number of your peers. This is how reality in general globally is held together with a sense of duration and congruity. Your house does not disappear from your street and then reappear you see, that reality would confuse you. So by the miracle of creation you keep a relatively stable environment going.

Learn to use the imagination constructively, picturing a future to your liking, rather than the result of haphazard ideas and false beliefs. And go for it on a large scale while you are practicing for several minutes a day. For example if you want more money, dont just picture yourself in posession of 50,000 dollars, picture yourself owning an island. You can never go too big, you see, but while you still have limiting beliefs, if you go big in your dreams, you will manifest a portion of it. You see. Once there are no conflicts, creating will be much easier. If you imagine self with an island and airplanes, etc, and you start to feel badly, or lets go smaller, you start to imagine self moving out of your room.............Getting a better job, married, etc....And you get knots in the stomach or it doesnt feel right, its not because you dont desire it, its because of the conflicting false beliefs. Start digging into them to resolve them.

You must do the work, you see....Hiding out in mom and dads (or anywhere) wont clear the psyche, or set it free. But attract more of the same old. New steps open new pathways - new opportunities.

That is all for now.