I think this is a universal problem because there are no fixed rules when it comes to human behaviour. So the question of whether it's been a long time since a girl contacted you is a bit like "how long is a piece of string?" The real issue is how much time and energy you spend worrying about these things and what you choose to worry about. For example, it might be worth worrying about whether she's drinking too much or not because that could affect her health and the relationship. It's probably not worth worrying about whether she's acting weird or not. But when there's emotional involvement it's hard not to worry about small things. So there's no easy answer to this and yes I certainly recognise myself in what you've said.