I think maybe, if you feel you need it, it would be helpful to take some form of medication so that you can resume your therapy and work on strategies to manage your panic without having to deal with the actual anxiety at the same time; maybe that could make it easier?
As far as I know, any antidepressant or medication that alters the brain chemistry has a very small chance of causing suicidal ideation, but this is experienced almost exclusively by adolescents who take them.
I personally took lexapro for 5 days and had to stop as it was exacerbating my asthma and even after such a short amount of time it was already helping me feel less anxious and worry less about everything. It was probably the placebo effect, but who cares! It worked.
It might be worth seeing a psychiatrist just once or twice if you're really concerned about taking medication to see what they say (if it's feasible). If not, if you're feeling like things are getting a bit overwhelming the medication could help you get back on track; but only take it if you want to.
Either way, best of luck
