I'm unhappy at uni

[AmberKyssina]

I was looking forward to uni when I first started but three months in I have just returned from the christmas holidays and still have the same opinion as I did several months ago. I dont like uni. The one thing that saves me is the fact I like the course, other aspects of uni life I am not enjoying at all. I have a few friends on my course and I get on with my flatmates but they like to go out on nights out all the time. And although I can cope once a week drinking alcohol makes my anxiety even worse. But I cant seem to go out on nights out without drinking because it makes me feel more confident. I also don't like the pressure of being sociable and the added pressure 'that you have to sleep with every guy and its all about sex'. As a 19year old virgin intimacy scares me and I go through phases of extreme loneliness however I don't have the confidence to even speak to a guy I like. At Plymouth uni I feel so trapped and feel like there is nothing to do apart from go out on nights out and work. I am so bored of Plymouth and I find the days monotonous and repetitive. I thought uni would inspire me but all it has done is left me feeling unmotivated and empty. I would leave today and not miss a single thing but I want this degree. My parents have offered for me to come back home more often but at 5hrs away if feels like im hardly there at all before I have to go back. What's even harder is the fact you wouldn't look at me and think I had any kind of anxiety disorder, I'm friendly and a little bit reserved but uni is making my unhappiness worse, I dont know what to do

[jessed03]

I've never been to Plymouth.

My flatmate at UEA a couple of years ago was from there though. He had such a farmer's accent LOL.

I didn't enjoy uni either. I won't lie. You'd think drinking, cute girls, and freedom would be fun for a guy, right? Nuh uh. I went with a minor health problem, so ended up just drinking J20 on nights out anyway. Soon enough I didn't have too many friends, nor a social life. I dropped out with a year to go.. Pretty stupid, but hey! My life went in other directions.

Some people say it takes a year to settle in at uni, which may sound crazy, but I think can be true. By my second year, I was more relaxed about things, but my depression had set me way behind on my course. I ended up bailing! I think you'll warm to it more than you have so far as time goes by. That's not to say you'll like it, but you'll probably settle better.

You're 19. That's a great age. There's plenty of time to work on yourself. You're like dough! You can mould yourself in to whatever. Have you ever explored the reasons for your fear of intimacy, and your social anxiety? That's something you could be looking at. It'd be more productive than drinking too!

If the whole uni set-up isn't fulfilling you, maybe there's a chance to get active outside of that setting? Maybe there are people in Plymouth that are maturer than the average uni student. I don't know whether it'd be easy to meet such people there, but in Norwich part of what kept me sane was meeting people living in the city that were a couple of years older and less prone to stupidity.

I hope you begin to find some enjoyment in it soon, even if it's just sitting outside the student bars at night, laughing at the drunk kids as they stumble home!