Starting to tackle anxiety - any tips?

[Alice G]

Hello everyone - my name is Alice and despite having a successful career in the City and great home life, I've pretty much suffered from anxiety all my adult life. Only a small handful of freinds and loved ones are aware of my condition and although I do very well at work, I have always managed to hide my anxiety well from colleagues. My day-to-day existence is great, but my anxiety is focussed on travelling - I'm terrified of trains and being stuck in a carriage and not being able to get off. It's not a great way to live as I am based in London (so busy commuting is a must), and I have to admit that I've used every excuse in the book to avoid meetings that involve crippling train journeys.
I have just moved house and now live in South London, so a 30 minute busy train journey is pretty much the only way to get into work. Following some counselling late last year, I've started to get the train into work every day with my partner, and this is my first full week of travelling. I can't begin to tell you how difficult it has been and I've found some of the physical symptoms really overwhelming, but I'm determined to keep going.
So two things:

Has anyone had any experience of continuing to expose themselves to a situation where they feel anxious, and will my anxiety start to diminish eventually? I'm scared that these feelings will last forever!

I've also been experiencing an extremely upset stomach as a result of a really bad 'anxious' build-up of acid before I take a journey. It's so bad that I'm almost doubled-up before I take a trip, and it's now making me feel more anxious as I'm nervous about not being close to a toilet in case I'm sick or similar. I'm carrying Rennie's with me, but does anyone have any advice as to how I can stop this dreadful build up of acid?

Thanks everyone, and good to know that I'm not suffering alone!

Alice

[Alice G]

Thank you for your response Im-suffering, but I'm afraid I find your comments very unhelpful. I've had no choice but to move to another place, and so the train journey really is the only way to get to work. I've been avoiding travelling by train for four years now, and if I continued to listen to my feelings and avoid the things that scare me, then I'd still be standing at the station with tears in my eyes.

Don't get me wrong - if I suddenly decided to travel to Paris on the Eurostar then that would probably be too much too soon, but these are short train journeys with my partner. This is something I can do and we anxiety sufferers have to work through these overwhelming feelings if we're going to grow and progress.

And believe me when I say that I do love myself and the choices I make. I have no problem with self-esteem and confidence, or that acknowledging anxiety is just a part of my wonderful make-up. I'm also proud that I've been brave enough to take these first steps.

So I'm sure you thought you were being helpful, but I'm afraid that if I took your advice it would be a case of undoing the good work I feel I've achieved this week. However, I appreciate you responding.

Alice

[Kuma]

Alice -- I suggest you look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (also known by its initials, "CBT"). It is very well suited to precisely the sort of situation you face. Indeed, in my opinion (having gone through CBT myself), your situation is precisely where CBT excels -- a smart, generally well-functioning person, who has a "mental block" when it comes to one particular issue (in your case, train travel), and is motivated to get past the issue. CBT is unlike conventional psychotherapy in that it is a short term treatment and is very focused/practical. The goal is not to explore your whole life in detail, or dwell on the past, etc. Instead, it is just to teach you a way to overcome the problem you are facing. A lot of it has to do with teaching yourself to evaluate risk more accurately, and then to internalize that more accurate risk evaluation. There is very good empirical evidence to support the use of CBT. It is important to have a therapist who is experienced with CBT, as it is quite different than other sorts of psychotherapy. My guess is if you did 12 weeks of CBT, and you "did your homework" during the CBT process, you would be largely past the train issue by the end of the 12 weeks -- or at least you would see very significant progress. Good luck.

[Alice G]

I've only really taken a 'light touch' approach to CBT Kuma, so your response is really useful. I will try that. I appreciate your recommendation - thank you!

[NixonRulz]

I've only really taken a 'light touch' approach to CBT Kuma, so your response is really useful. I will try that. I appreciate your recommendation - thank you!

Keep riding that train like you own it.

Do anything like you own it if it causes you anxiety symptoms

You trained your mind to be afraid in those situations so retrain back to where it needs to be

I am a fan of CBT if you do things that you fear. But only if you go into it hoping to feel the anxious symptoms

Once you do those things a few times and feel all the symptoms and see that they're harmless, you start losing the fear and when the fear goes, anxiety has no place to set in

[Alice G]

Thanks for this NixonRulz - I like the idea of riding a train like I own it!

[Robert Tressell]

hi Alice

Like you I hid symptoms of anxiety for a long time, in my case 40 years!

Recent triggers ( Redundancy, bereavements and house moves ) have proved difficult however, and after suffering in agony and silence for a long time I sought help.

I came to realise that most of my health "issues" such as acid stomach, fatigue, chest pains, lethargy etc etc were not physical but in my mind and directly and wholly attributable to my anxiety.

First step - confessing my issues to my wife, many tears, talking to a GP and not minimising the symptoms as I always did before on my many previous visits! None of this was easy for a 49 year old man with a largely successful career over the last 30 years or so!

Second step - Exercise, diet, lose weight. Take vitamins especially Magnesium.

Third step - The most difficult. CBT and medication ( Citalopram ).

Good luck with whatever course of action you take Alice, but i'd suggest honesty with yourself is the best policy, and seek help.

Best wishes and good health - Robert