You had survived terrible loss, and this is grieving. Your body and mind is one. I am really sorry it happened to you. Do not regret coming here. We have many people who will help you somehow. Sometimes to be with no judgmental people around gives the relieve.
Stop trying so hard, let you be you. I am sorry if this is difficult to understand. English is my second language. You must start to love yourself and meditation will help you. It helps everyone, try it please. The symptoms are awful and I wonder if you had a blood test on presence of hyplori bacteria in stomach? it is just simple blood test. Your symptoms were mine years ago. I had it from morning to night....