Please Help

[Kuma]

Hey Paul. So you probably know this already, but googling about illnesses or symptoms is a terrible idea for those of us with anxiety. The web has some useful information, but there's a lot of garbage that can unnecessarily trigger anxiety. Like if you search for something about having dry skin, you will probably find various references to weird and horrible diseases. And then maybe you will conclude that you have leprosy and your skin is about to peel off like a shedding snake. But 99.99% chance it just means you need some moisturizer or at worst you might have some eczema. That's just a made up example, but you get the idea. Those of us with anxiety tend to jump to the worst case scenarios and overestimate risk.

If you have some physical symptoms, it is good to go to a doctor and get a thorough check up to make sure you are physically OK. Once you confirm that, then your task is to understand that the fear you are facing is caused by anxiety, and by a tendency to overestimate risk and to get attached to the worst case possibilities, even though they are, in fact, very remote. It is not easy, but eventually you can get to a place where, when you think you have a dreaded illness, you can say to yourself "OK, I know I don't really have any dreaded illness because I just went to a doctor recently and he told me I am fine -- this is just my anxiety playing tricks on me."

Of course, getting some treatment for the anxiety is not a bad idea either. I like cognitive behavioral therapy, because it is relatively short term, and there is empirical evidence to show that it is effective for anxiety. But there are other options too, including more traditional psychotherapy, medications (such as SSRIs and beta blockers, among others), and various "alternative" treatments, such as meditation, etc.

If it makes you feel any better, there are lots of us who have gone through the same thing you are. It is really uncomfortable and a distraction from the things you would rather be doing, such as being productive at work and enjoying your friends and family. But you can learn to manage it so that it does not have such an impact.

And you are going to be around for a long time, to see your kids grow up, graduate from school, get married, and have their own kids. Some day you will look back on this and say "I had a terrible bout of anxiety, and I kept thinking I was going to drop dead. But I confronted it and worked hard to get past it, and that was 40 years ago and now I'm doing great."

Best wishes, my friend.