Just stressed...or am I suffering from anxiety/depression?

[hannah1390]

Hello,

This is my first time ever posting on a forum relating to anxiety, depression, or any other mental illness. I am here because I need some advice, some guidance, and I thought this would be a great place to start. Without going into great detail, I am currently struggling with one of the toughest semesters of college I've had thus far, on top of preparing graduate school applications, dealing with a really difficult breakup (and its corresponding painful heartbreak), family issues, financial issues and struggles to find a solid job.

But from about the beginning of this year up until the present, I can't remember the last time I felt like myself. I know that these incredibly stressful life situations are a huge part of it, but I'm really starting to wonder if I need to seek help. I am always tired. Always. I can sleep for 8+ hours and wake up yawning. I have no motivation to study, I can't concentrate, and even though I have worked sooooo hard to get as far as I have in terms of completing my educational/career goals, I have no interest in accomplishing the things I want to anymore. I feel constantly on edge, like I could snap at any second. And I feel like this daily. I have even noticed that I'm avoiding my friends, bailing on plans, all because I feel tired and unmotivated. Not to mention my self-esteem is lower than ever. I even feel a heightened sense of social phobia, I avoid people and situations where I have to carry on conversations. The idea of carrying on a meaningful conversation even sounds daunting sometimes. And things like hiking, working out, hanging out with friends, that used to be stress-relievers for me, no longer cheer me up.

I have always been a worrier. I will worry myself sick thinking of all the horrible scenarios of any situation I am faced with, even scenarios that are highly, highly unlikely. I am consciously aware that my worrying is often ridiculous, yet I can't help it and I can't stop it. For instance, when it comes to school and exams, I will worry so much about failing an exam that I spend all my time focusing on the terrible things that can go wrong, rather than actually concentrating on studying the material so that I will do well! It's almost like self-sabotaging behavior. Besides the excessive worrying, I often feel incredibly on-edge as I stated before. Nothing will be going on, nothing in my immediate surroundings will be irritating in the least, yet I feel the need to just jump up and scream for no reason. Again, this feeling of being trapped, a feeling of rage almost, that I can't seem to shake. Sometimes when I'm feeling incredibly uncomfortable, I will have trouble catching my breath and suffer from heart palpitations. It almost feels like what could be a panic attack, but again, this is all relatively new to me and I am not sure if this is the case.

I am diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, but it my thyroid levels have been under control without the aide of medication for about a year now. I mention this because many of the symptoms associated with an overactive thyroid can mimic those of both anxiety and depression. I am considering making an appointment with my endocrinologist just to rule this out.

I have had multiple nervous breakdowns over the past few months, where I cry and tell my parents I don't feel good at all, but I feel like they aren't hearing me. They think I'm just overwhelmed by school and once I complete this semester I will be fine. They don't see how much I'm suffering. I really think it's more than just the normal stress of school and the sadness of my relationship ending. My Dad has suggested possibly seeing my primary care physician, but I have no idea what this will do for me. Do you think this is a good place to start?

I feel like I just sound like I'm complaining and being dramatic, at least that's how I feel my family views my situation. But I really think that something could truly be off. I've never felt more out of control. Please, I'm just tired of feeling so alone in this. Any advice or suggestions are welcomed.

Sincerely,
Hannah