My anxiety introduction

[Bennetsdauther]

I'm hoping that by joining this website I can talk to others who have been in similar situations as me. I'm absolutely terrified about it, but I really do want to try and at least help others with similar anxieties. I hardly speak to others about them, so who better to speak to about my anxiety than complete strangers.

My anxiety track record:

• Age 4-8: Constant need to make everything I do even e.g. equal pressure on each foot when I walk
• Age 4-6: Habit of smelling fingers and getting anxious if I couldn't.
• Age 6-8: Irrational thoughts that friends and family held a secret club against me.
• Age 6-8: Fear of suddenly stop breathing
Fear of not being able to swallow (had to go to a doctor to get an x-ray which came up with nothing)
• Age 6-13: Emetaphobia (fear of being sick) also included being scared of others being sick.(Still occurs now and then)
• Age 8-present day: Sense of fear every school night and day, thinking that something is going to go wrong during the day.
• Age 14: Used weight as a control mechanism.
• Age 7-present day: Fear of not pleasing someone, making them not like me, to the point of being a doormat and doing anything they say to ensure they like me.

I'm aware that some of these may seem silly, but they all caused me anxiety at some point in my life.
So, that was my unexpectedly long introduction to this website. If anyone has any advice on the last point, I would be very grateful. Thank you for reading

[GeneAllen]

Welcome, not silly at all. Keep posting and keep In mind there is a heavy overtone of you feeling powerless in this above story. The rituals are a way to feel "in control". All of them. The underlying ROOT is you simply do not feel "good enough" as you are. When in fact you are of course. As you take back the power you have given away to others out of the deep fear of ""needing" to be liked and accepted by all is the sign I see as "the not good enough" sense you have deeply held as a belief that is true, when in fact it is untrue. All control and balance comes from giving up the idea you must have control. We are powerless over others, we are powerless over ourselves in some cases. As you surrender and accept who you are and as you are right this minute, you will begin the journey of seeing you indeed become stronger as you admit this to yourself and others, our weakness's strengths etc. are not us they are what we do, not who we are. If you did not at some level see this you would not feel unhappy right now. So you know this already it seems, and so be that. The real you, full of power, and strength, surrendered to life as it is, without trying to change it or yourself, then things will come back into balance. Exaggerated feelings, emotions, and anxieties are fueling your thoughts now, step into a space where you can relax and enjoy yourself as you are, fully accept this is where you are now, not where you will stay.

Peace

[Ritch]

Welcome to the forum bennet

Gene has pretty much nailed it on the final point and I couldn't have said it better myself

what I would like to say is that if they are causing you difficulties then they are certainly not silly and you will find that the majority of us here understand and have/had similar experiences.

[needtogetwell]

Hi Bennett,

Welcome to the forum.

Gene has really summed up my thoughts well.

There is never anything silly about how you feel. Your feelings are yours and are valid.

Ask questions, we are here to listen or offer suggestions when appropriate. We are a very diverse group, we have different life experiences and I for one may not have experienced what you have but am always here to offer support or a shoulder to lean on.

Cheers
Pam

[JohnC]

Hi Bennett,
Welcome to the forum. I am at work but I wanted to say hi and I am glad you came.

[Bennetsdauther]

Thank you everyone for your support, I look forward to helping others as you have to me.
Thank you Gene for your thorough advice, I will definitely take on board what you have said. Needing control has definitely been an issue with me, and I'm still trying to at least loosen that need.
I will continue to post, and thanks again everyone for your support.

[GeneAllen]

There is no shame in "control issues". So please know I am not judging only pointing out what I perceive, and I can relate to it all. Feelings of "not good enough" are rampant in most people today behind the smiles and "I'm fine, doing great" statements are lonely, disconnected people. Seems as though we are always in competition with others, and our over valuation of celebrities. Instead of competition I now see it as cooperation. It's a win win. A part of us always wants to be number one and special, but we will never find this in comparing ourselves with another. Bottom line we are as we are, and I guarantee you that is GOOD ENOUGH. If the masses simply knew who they are, the power they hold, and the unique life within them, it would be cherished. You will see this soon. The core for me is fear, whether it's anxiety, depression, anger, control, jealous. I see it as two main emotions Love and fear. I accept them both within myself, when you transmute fear it is nothing more than love frustrated. So actually you could say only love exists. Nothing real can be threatened, and nothing unreal exists. ACIM.

Peace