Thank you for your response. ADHD with co-morbid anxiety is fairly common, but there is stigma against the prescription of stimulant medication to someone who has formerly abused substances. Despite my attempts to communicate the "self medication theory" I believe to be valid, my doctor is reluctant to prescribe medication, but is acting (too) responsibly and is making every attempt to be very thorough. This is fair practice, and is a good example of quality medical care, considering my extensive personal history, but is also terrible because of the wait for open appointment times (2-6 months for a new referral). That's the VA for you.

As I mentioned previously, he referred me to a neurologist for (I'm guessing) for a more thorough evaluation of my diagnosis. Because there are many factors in my total disability, such as treated and untreated head trauma and concussions, and other social factors such as childhood behaviors, I believe he is making a responsible decision. Most VA doctors are unaware of the wait times for referrals, and I'm disappointed that the doctor wasn't more immediate in prescribing medication for symptoms I've described, which impair my abilities severely.

I have done reputable online evaluations that point to ADHD, and I have been prescribed dexedrine in the past with no side effects. Dexedrine helped me to manage not only my symptoms, but also my need to self medicate. Because I have lost hope on top of not being capable of managing symptoms, I have begun to self medicate again, as responsibly as possible. I worry that my self medication may have a negative effect on my future appointment with the neurologist (date yet undetermined by the VA). Nevertheless, I will plainly state that I self medicate just to be able to keep a "healthy" daily routine (I do exercise and eat well despite substance use, I'm able to stay focused, motivated, and organized). I have and will continue to hide my self medication from my doctor because of VA policy on substance use. Unfortunately, the disorganization and focal disorientation (after periods of time abstinent from substances) is completely disabling, and without medications, I would require either an caregiver or be living in an assisted living facility, Neither of which I would care to participate in at my age.

Some response and opinions from a professional here on my behaviors will be well received.