Panic and ADHD?

[thisguy]

Hello everyone.

I am new to the forum. I am diagnosed with panic disorder, and believe I have ADHD. My panic attacks are severe and frequent, and I take valium to prevent them. I realize the medication's side effects can be misconstrued as ADHD symptoms, but I know the difference in myself. I am generally inattentive, and as a result, I have to re-read sentences, instructions, or paragraphs frequently. I also must ask others to repeat themselves frequently. Although I can hear everything being said to me, I often do not understand what is being said. I noticed these symptoms prior to taking any medication for panic, and they continue to prevent me from pursuing my goals.

I also have a history of substance abuse, mainly stimulants. I believe I self medicate using stimulants for my potential ADHD, but I have never abused prescribed medications for my panic attacks. My panic attacks were the first symptom to receive treatment, and my doctor is referring me to a neurologist for further testing.

I will not reveal my self medication to my doc, mainly because I believe I know what his/her opinion is on substance use, but also because I am managing my self-medication well enough to live comfortably. However, I do not wish to break the law, and I believe that I would benefit from a stimulant medication prescription, since I am tolerant to them and do not notice any undesirable side effects.

I feel like there is a stigma I am trying to defeat with healthcare professionals about my disorders and self medication. It's not drug abuse to me, it's symptom management. How do I relay this to a doctor, and does anyone else have this issue?

How is it that I can know what medication works best for me, but am completely unable to convince the doctor that I am not "drug-seeking"

Many thanks for reading this.

[jessed03]

ADHD isn't too uncommon a diagnosis these days, I'm suprised your doctor won't treat that if there are symptoms.

Have you ever done one of the online ADHD tests? If you took one, scored positively for ADHD, printed it, showed your doctor, explained with examples how the symptoms had affected your life, I find it hard to believe a good doctor would leave you hanging, and if your doctor did, perhaps he isn't a good one, right!

What is on your record? Why would he suspect you of being a drug seeker, but then give you benzos? That's kinda weird.

Either he doesn't believe you have ADHD, or he isn't the best of doctors.

In the past when trying to get pretty strong drugs to help with stuff, I've found good communication is really helpful. That and a good doctor!

[thisguy]

Thank you for your response. ADHD with co-morbid anxiety is fairly common, but there is stigma against the prescription of stimulant medication to someone who has formerly abused substances. Despite my attempts to communicate the "self medication theory" I believe to be valid, my doctor is reluctant to prescribe medication, but is acting (too) responsibly and is making every attempt to be very thorough. This is fair practice, and is a good example of quality medical care, considering my extensive personal history, but is also terrible because of the wait for open appointment times (2-6 months for a new referral). That's the VA for you.

As I mentioned previously, he referred me to a neurologist for (I'm guessing) for a more thorough evaluation of my diagnosis. Because there are many factors in my total disability, such as treated and untreated head trauma and concussions, and other social factors such as childhood behaviors, I believe he is making a responsible decision. Most VA doctors are unaware of the wait times for referrals, and I'm disappointed that the doctor wasn't more immediate in prescribing medication for symptoms I've described, which impair my abilities severely.

I have done reputable online evaluations that point to ADHD, and I have been prescribed dexedrine in the past with no side effects. Dexedrine helped me to manage not only my symptoms, but also my need to self medicate. Because I have lost hope on top of not being capable of managing symptoms, I have begun to self medicate again, as responsibly as possible. I worry that my self medication may have a negative effect on my future appointment with the neurologist (date yet undetermined by the VA). Nevertheless, I will plainly state that I self medicate just to be able to keep a "healthy" daily routine (I do exercise and eat well despite substance use, I'm able to stay focused, motivated, and organized). I have and will continue to hide my self medication from my doctor because of VA policy on substance use. Unfortunately, the disorganization and focal disorientation (after periods of time abstinent from substances) is completely disabling, and without medications, I would require either an caregiver or be living in an assisted living facility, Neither of which I would care to participate in at my age.

Some response and opinions from a professional here on my behaviors will be well received.