I have struggled with Generalized Anxiety Disorder since the age of 12 and now, at the age of 28, I find myself still searching for answers on how to live a happy and fulfilling life with this condition. After taking Celexa for the past five years, I decided I wanted to try weaning off of it entirely for a variety of reasons, but mainly because I was experiencing some pretty severe weight gain as a side effect and this was causing me a variety of other health problems.
Starting in July of 2013 I very gradually decreased my dosage of Celexa over the next four months. I went from 40mg to 30, then to 20, then to 10, then to 5 by cutting my pills. I was determined to do things slowly and methodically to avoid the horrible experience I had the first time I tried to wean off the meds. When I was 24, I weaned off of my Celexa under the supervision of a doctor who didn’t really know what he was doing. I weaned off of 20mg in 3 weeks and experienced very severe withdrawal symptoms. I got back on Celexa as soon as possible and went up to 40mg per day.
My plan to wean very slowly seemed to work remarkably well at first. In early October 2013 I took my last small dosage of Celexa and I was experiencing only minor effects of the tapering process: some increased irritability and slight fatigue. I was feeling very confident and proud of myself for getting this far, but unfortunately after about two weeks from totally weaning off the medicine, I began experiencing very intense withdrawal symptoms. Severe anxiety, depression, shaking hands, extreme weakness, brain fog, and never feeling rested even after a full night’s sleep.
Despite going through hell, I decided to try to seek alternative methods of healing myself rather than just getting back on another SSRI. I spent huge amounts of time searching the web trying to find natural ways of reducing anxiety through nutrition, vitamins and herbal supplements. I have also done research on the brain and adrenal glands trying to figure out what could be the underlying physiological reason for my anxiety (although at this point I’m still unclear exactly what is causing my GAD). For the past two months I have been taking a magnesium supplement called ‘Calm’ as well as a multivitamin, an herbal medication called ‘Cortisol Manager’, vitamin D3, Omega 3 Fish Oil, I have avoided caffeine, I have been exercising 6 days a week and eating 5-6 small, nutritious meals a day to help stabilize my blood sugar, in addition to many other methods to reduce stress and improve outlook.
I have had moments where it seemed like this natural approach is working. My GAD is certainly more under control than it was two months ago. But I still feel like I have a long way to go before feeling positive, healthy, and calm. I don’t have the same sense of well-being that I did while taking Celexa. At times over the past month the anxiety and depression have been nearly unbearable making me want to run out and get back on medication. I’m uncertain as to what is the best path to take. I have learned a lot about nutrition and exercise during this whole process and I feel physically healthier than I have in years in many ways, but the anxiety has been exhausting and I feel like I am spending all of my time and energy just managing my anxiety and I am neglecting other parts of my life that are important to me.
I am wondering if perhaps continuing my very structured regimen of exercise, nutrition, and supplementation along with a low dose of an SSRI might be the way to go. I have hope, but each day has felt more like surviving rather than truly enjoying life. Next week I have an appointment with a general practitioner and shortly after that, a psychologist that I’ve been to a couple times. I will talk to them about possibly trying a low dose of a different SSRI such as Zoloft to see if I might experience less severe side effects than I did on the Celexa. I will report back after that to give an update. Thank you again to all the people who have posted about their struggles with anxiety and inspired me to not give up hope!
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