Issues with telling the truth about my mindset to my psychiatrist

[Christopher H.]

Hi everyone,

I want to get advice on expressing what I still struggle with mentally to my psychiatrist but I am afraid of what might happen. I think about death a lot and much too often I wish I were dead. I also struggle with shutting off the flood of negative memories or how lame life is. Pretty much negative thoughts or such certainty that there is no hope. This isn't all the time but not a day goes by where I'm not affected by this in some way. Some days are better than others. Anyways, when my psychiatrist asks me if I have any suicidal thoughts or how my life is going I simply pretend as if life is fine and I deny having suicidal thoughts. I'm afraid that I'll be put in an insane asylum or have to notify authorities. But I want to be truthful so that I can get the help that I crave and maybe finally be provided a solution to my problems. I also feel a little guilty because I feel like I just need to deal with these problems myself and not be dramatic. Maybe I'm overreacting? I just don't know, any advice is welcome and thanks for taking the time to read about my issues.

[em1]

Ok firstly you need to open up and say how your really feeling as then you can get the right treatment for your needs,your not going metal or is anyone going to take you into a Mental institution so stop thinking that,it's all to do with anxiety and nothing more,there just thoughts in your head,you won't go mad and you won't do anything bad x

[Anxious Abi]

Hey Christopher H.
I think the desire to end your life is definitely something you should be discussing with your psychiatrist, I often find it is the times when I feel all hope is lost and I want to give in to those dark feelings is when I need support the most. I know it's difficult getting out how're truly coping in a Doctor, Patient setting, I certainly find it challenging.
I think a lot of people have this fear that if they are honest about how insane and out of control they think they are becoming they will be committed to an asylum of some sort. When I raised these concerns with my Dr, he reassured me that if a Mental Hospital was where I needed to be, then that was the best thing that could happen.
I think the mental picture calling it an asylum conjures is far from the reality of simply needing full time medical supervision. Usually you will only be admitted to hospital if you have 'made plans' to end your life, you are prepared and set on doing so, 'if you are at risk of harming yourself or others'.
I don't believe you are being over dramatic, you're not going mad but the desire to end your life is a HUGE thing. It is something a lot of people don't understand, and it is extremely hard to over come, especially when you have essentially come to terms with your own passing.
Yeah, i'm rambling. I would say, do talk with your psychiatrist about these feelings.
If you don't feel you can, there are help lines that you call and have a chat about how you're feeling, anonymously.
Abi.

[Kevcules]

hey there Chris

You're feelings are common! Most everyone with depression has thoughts of dieing, myself included. I was pretty low early this year , really low,and I'm still not out of the woods yet. Don't go see the psychiatrist if you aren't telling him EXACTLY what you feel! That's what he's there for ! He will try to diagnose you and prescribe medication. I'm been there recently. Been on drugs for 2 months or so, it has helped ,but not gotten rid of all the dark thoughts.
I looked at my psychiatrist when I walked in his office and when he asked how are you feeling? I said I feel like everyday I want to die! I just want the torture in my head to stop. When I close my eyes and sleep, the torture stops until I open them again! Just like that! He didn't blink an eye, he hears that shit all the time! Something I didn't know was that he's the first one in line to see patients like us and his job is to medicate you to get you down to a manageable level, then you're referred to a psychologist! They are the ones who talk to you and work with you on coping mechanisms and strategies to try to get your mind thinking normally again. They are called the "shrinks! HA! I go my shrink next week for the first time. They only charge $150/hour! wtf? I have benefit coverage for 4 visits.....I hope it's enough!
Tell them the truth and don't worry, unless your screaming and crying and seeing things floating in the air in the psychiatrists office, you won't be sent to the crazy house!

Take care!

[DodgingRain]

They will only admit you to inpatient if your in immediate danger to yourself or someone else. So unless you think you are going to do it right away and are in crisis they won't put you in the hospital. I was admitted a few years ago because I was in a really bad bad place. I also had to agree to being taken in. I was in for about 4 days which was a nice vacation from life.

I understand how you feel. I know I felt like I shouldn't have felt that way and I was worried I was over reacting, etc.