A mess, but not the kind that can't be fixed.

[Una B]

Hi, I'm 19 and I live in a country the generosity of you have only heard about at most - Latvia. I've been dealing with severe anxiety attacks for most of my adolescence, but I've been diagnosed only very recently - about year and a half ago. Ever since treatment started(immediately after the diagnosis) I've gone so much better. And for a while I even thought I was 100% cured and had gotten rid of it. Until I started my first job last summer. At first I thought it was a normal human reaction - my first job ever, bunch of new people, new things that I had to learn, etc. But after a few months, somewhere around autumn and the end of the winter, my attacks came back. And they occurred during the evenings and specifically only on working days. I realized that I’m still oversensitive to meeting new people and getting along with them. I've been working there for more than a half year, but I still feel like a newbie for most of the time. Don’t get me wrong – I love the job and my colleagues. It’s just sometimes I try to push myself way too much.

And yet – considering the fact that a year ago I could barely walk out of my room without feeling judged, my palms getting sweaty, feeling like I’m gonna throw up my breakfast, lunch, the lunch of the previous day, my lungs, my heart, every other inside parts – I can definitely say I’m a lot better.