Hello all. -- I apologize in advance for my rather lengthy introduction...

Only recently did I realize that obsessive racing thoughts 24/7 coupled with moderate panic attacks were abnormal. Really. I honestly thought everyone had them and that some people were just better at dealing with them than others. During the day, I'll have as many as 5-7 different mental threads running on "autopilot" throughout the day.. Wondering "what if this.. what if that.. How can I fix this or that computer issue?!" (I'm an IT professional.) At night those 5-7 threads become 10-15.. all racing through my mind at supersonic speeds; spiraling out of control -- right at bedtime. I'll lie awake in bed for 2-3 hours before finally falling asleep. So you can all easily guess this greatly affects my quality of sleep on a very regular basis. This lack of sleep translates into a terrible work day filled with even more stress due to my weakened stress tolerance from the night before. Lovely.

I've tried Prozac, Zoloft, Effexor, Lexapro and Buspar. ALL of them wreaked havoc on my equilibrium (completely intolerable for a troubleshooting occupation such as mine) ... causing moderate to severe nausea, dizziness. I already have a terrible equilibrium, so these side effects were a game-ender for me. None of them helped the nervousness and panic attacks that I've apparently been experiencing since I was a young teen one bit. In fact, due to the side effects they caused, the meds only served to worsen my tensions.

It has been clearly evidenced that SSRIs are more trouble than they are worth at least for me. Unfortunately, our family doctor is one of the many pharma companies' brainwashed benzophobes.. and refuses to prescribe them.

I am scheduled for an appointment with an actual psychiatrist in a week.. I plan on clearly communicating up front that I will not take any SSRI or Beta blocking medications. I am however open to trying benzo-based medications. Many people on the net have been "crying foul" that they are highly addictive and have horrendous withdrawal effects. I've noticed one important common factor, though. Each report of problems with said benzos have involved the person taking more medication than directed. This is about the biggest NO-BRAINER there could be. Of COURSE you're going to have issues when abusing a medication!! I on the other hand will NOT be misusing my meds.

If prescribed a benzo, I'm going to ask for a medication that can be taken "as needed" for when I'm actually experiencing an anxiety attack. I am completely against medicating myself on a daily basis. I refuse to take an SSRI which will only serve to sicken me "just in case" a panic attack should potentially happen. For me, the best option is a medication I can take only when I'm experiencing an attack. I've been told that Xanax is just that sort of drug. I am not afraid of taking it, as I will be following the directions precisely, as to avoid dependency / addiction.

In the meantime I've been taking a few supplements which have helped to take some of the edge off my anxiety issues, including:

- Valerian Root -- Provides mild relief and helps a bit with falling asleep.
- 5-HTP -- Same effects as Valerian, but acts on serotonin levels rather than Gaba receptors..
- Phenibut -- Provides the most relief of social anxiety / agoraphobia issues. I only take it for 2 days at a time 750 mg - 1.5 g.. followed by a 2-day "wash out" period as directed.

I of course don't stack them together all at once. Rather, I rotate them. These 3 supplements have been helping a bit, but I am still experiencing racing thoughts at night as well as mild to moderate panic / anxiety attacks usually triggered by overly-crowded large areas such as shopping malls, busy traffic with bad drivers, any even slightly invasive medical procedure -- especially needles, etc. (The latter is my biggest trigger for panic attacks by FAR)

When I'm experiencing these attacks, my stress levels go from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds, causing physical symptoms such as trembling, shortness of breath, my heart "jumping / skipping beats" in my chest, severe IBS (very painful intestinal cramping along with terrible diarreah) nausea, feelings of "fight or flight" (the latter usually winning out).

I've experienced these symptoms since I was probably 12 or 13 years of age in varying degrees of severity. As I previously stated, I just thought they were normal feelings that everyone experienced, so I didn't bother to discuss my issues with anyone. Recently, I talked about it with my wife, who is an RN. She had noticed my issues in the past, and had me try different SSRIs with no relief.. only terrible side effects. -- She suffers from depression / mild bipolarism, so she had all these different meds at different times. She suggested that I find a doctor who would prescribe me something to actually help.

I have been prescribed benzos in the past by dentists to help with anxiety during office visits. Each time, they helped me TREMENDOUSLY. Unfortunately, as I've said, my current GP family doc is of the brainwashed benzophobe flavor. heh.

Here's hoping this new psychiatrist will not be afraid to prescribe me a benzo-type medication. I am so DONE with SSRIs. I'll hopefully post updates next week on my situation. I apologize if I rambled at all.. racing thoughts and all that.