Hi, my name is Meg and I am a 27yr old female suffering from anxiety. I was diagnosed with GAD when I was 19 mid-way through my first year of college. At the time I was put on Zoloft, but it didn't work well for me and I stopped taking it after a year or so. Throughout the next 6 or 7 years I didn't see a doctor or take meds for my anxiety...I thought I had it under control, but I ended up making some bad relationship and life choices and only now, after accepting that I am still suffering from anxiety can I look back and see that I was suffering all along and just trying to ignore it.

The reason I googled anxiety forums and registered here today is that I just had an argument with my boyfriend of three years while we were on the way to his grandmother's house to celebrate Easter and have dinner with his family. I did not feel like going, and all morning I was being very cranky as a result. In the car I kept saying I didn't want to go until he pulled over and told me to just get out of the car then. I was very angry at first, but after he talked me into getting back IN the car and brought me home, I realize how stupid I was being.

I have no idea why I am acting like this. I love his family and him. They have treated me like a daughter, and he is the best man I have ever been with. I want to spend my life with him, but after this afternoon I am worried that if I don't get a handle on my anxious behavior I am going to push him right out of my life inadvertently. As soon as he dropped me off and headed back to his grandmother's...I wanted to be in the car with him, and not here at the apartment alone - so why did I behave this way and freak out in the first place??

I was prescribed Celexa recently and have yet to take it. I thought I could manage on my own but it's obvious today that I can not.

My family has a history of anxiety - my grandmother has taken anxiety meds for 15 years and my father has OCD and anxiety and is also on Celexa. I have tried therapy several times, but have not found it to be rewarding. I know that when I keep my mind busy with my hobbies (drawing, reading and playing guitar), my anxiety subsides - but it has been very difficult for me to even have the motivation to start an activity in the first place.

I'm at the end of my rope and not sure where to turn, so I'm taking a shot in the dark and posting here in the hopes that others who understand my situation and may be in a similar position where they are inadvertently hurting their relationship may be able to offer a little advise on how to maintain your relationship and also manage your anxiety so it doesn't come between you and your loved ones.