Dave's Space: Perseverance

[Ponder]

Best I can say I must of been in a LOT of pain given I said I would rather be dead than go to a hospital so many times before. Between the GP, Testing Facilities, Hospital & even the Ambos ... The dehumanizing aspect of it all in its present state has left me thinking seriously about doing more to get a hold of my health. I know I just said it at the ending of last post but still in need of summoning up the desire to heal a little each day so I can make that intention a reality. Such a mindset is helping Vs the very LONG bout of despair I have been in.

I think it wise to keep looking for a new doctor that knows how to connect on a human level but right now just doing all I can to stay away from them and all things medical related.

I had a bit of a cry today watching one or two rare finds and noticed how much better I felt in my body. Even the infection in my toe instantly looked and felt much better. That really got me thinking just how deeply rooted I have been in a low vibrational state. Wanting to be done with this world and the people in whilst still in resistance with it has plagued me for some time now. I've alluded to recent welfare reforms and the pressure that has come with that derailing me very much. I've said many things but sense it's mostly been the unresolved pain in accepting what is that's held me back.

Right now I try to salvage the damage to my body and the predisposition in that with respect to cleaning myself up and boosting my ability to heal.

Here's to one night's semi good sleep that might help me on the tail end of the antibiotics. I don't think I could to a 5th course.
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I finally got my original recliner back after buying a similar one and replacing it while my grandson was at school. He claimed mine long ago when he first came to stay. I chuckle to think how putting the old cover back on the replacement lounge did the trick. It was touch and go though as I had to rush to put my bedroom door back on before he got home. So far he seems to of not noticed. Touch Wood.

Once my chest clears, the pain settles in my organs and I can breath proper and stand up and walk with intention, I'll be working on the simple things re what goes in and what comes out. Not sure counting the days works anymore but will write about my progress for the sake of keeping on track. It's just so easy to give up when in a low vibrational state. Still, got to be careful of keeping things grounded.
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Right now I work on much needed sleep ... ZZZzzz So very tired ZZZzzz ... Not out of the woods yet.