Sorry to hear about the increase in meds and their apparent lack of positive effect when it comes to dealing with the issues your talking about. It's true that meds can only do so much. Just because your not in hospital does not mean your not in pain, or just because you've been dosed, does not mean you suffer any less. I would however hope there is some essence of relief that might of been enable through the taking of your meds that perhaps allowed you to write so powerfully as you have. At the end of the day, you can take credit for that.

Sal ... You have never ever been a handful and nor shall I ever see you as such. Your like family to me. I am sorry I missed your posts on the 8th just a few days ago, Friday my time last week. I just checked and saw the only post I made that day was asking after you in my thread. Clearly I got side tracked after that as it was a couple of days before I posted again.


Exposure Therapy? In what context did your therapist bring that up? I don't beleive in exposing myself to things I don't want to be exposed. I personally struggle with this when it comes to others making those choices for us. It should always be our choice and our control. Or so I am told. I understand if you don't wish to elaborate. Sometimes it can be beneficial to get back on the bike after we have fallen off, but only if our desire to get from point A to B is greater than the obstacles in between. Too much pressure to conform in a direction we don't want to be is only serves to create suffering where otherwise there would be none. In this way ... it is generally outside influences that make us sick ... or in many of our cases; keeps us down. In this please take solace in knowing it's not your fault. That said, we would do well to avoid finger pointing ourselves ... but do better to mearly observe and feel what must be felt. The latter now raises question as to how meds can impede the act of truly acknowledging these facts ... yet at other times it can also allow the much needed space in which to process. Perhaps in this you will soon be able to reduce the dose once you past the void ... or so to speak.

I'm not meaning to be right or wrong sal ... just clutching at straws myself with no other intention but to help. I hit enter and think more about what you are saying whilst sipping some on my hot cup.