Hi,

I worry a lot and am always regretting how I have acted in certain situations, like letting people get away with actions/remarks. It's usually the classic case of thinking of a good comeback a long time after the situation has passed. There's a certain case of this which I still brood on from time to time.

At a party last summer where I was celebrating the end of uni with other students, a guy made a joke about me being 'socially awkward'. I'd call him a half-acquaintance. My friends who were around were a bit shocked at what he said, I just sort of laughed it off and ignored it. I think I may have sarcastically said 'thanks'. When I was in bed that night, I was wallowing in regret that I didn't say anything back to him, I was suddenly able to think of loads of great comebacks, for example he was at uni in his home town, in a very cosy clique, he also feels he has to put on a camp diva act, at least I act myself etc etc. (I'm gay myself, but not flamboyant). I was thinking of sending him a message to retaliate to what he'd said, but thought that if I couldn't do it to his face, I shouldn't do it behind a screen. There was a chance that I could've seen him again, but in the end I didn't. I was planning to say something if I'd seen him. More days passed and I forgot about it/let it go. A few weeks later, I started brooding about it again, and was thinking of sending him messages again, but didn't. Nowadays, it comes to mind every now and then, but I don't dwell on it. However, I started thinking about it again today, and was thinking I should just message him. I feel it's the only way to get closure from it. I know it seems ridiculous to be replying a year on, but I'm thinking what the hell, why not. It's unlikely I'd see him again. My friends did say he was quite bitchy in general, even to them, so perhaps I'm taking it too seriously. What does everyone think? Thanks,

I was wondering if anyone had any coping strategies for brooding and regret. It consumes a lot of my thinking and I feel like my mind is a prison most of the time. Thanks