Anxiety disorder HPPD

[Luuk]

Hi guys,

I'm a 22 year old student from the Netherlands and I have got Derealization/Depersonalization/HPPD for almost a year now.

Simply said, HPPD is a tempory defense mechanism from your body to deal with accumulated trauma, stress and/or anxiety. It can be triggerd by drugs and/or panic attacks. I had and have symptoms like:

- Visual Snow
- 24/7 Headaches
- Overthinking
- Obsessive thinking
- Social Anxiety
- Overanalyzing
- Everything feels fake. Like you are in a movie.
- Emotional numbness
- Depression
- Panic attacks
- You feel detached from the world.

But everything is so much better then a couple of months ago!

Before I write my whole story down about last year, what I did about it and so on, I want to ask a quick question. Maybe people aren't waiting for a whole story so my main question for now is:

How do you let go of obsessive thoughts? This is the main thing I struggle with at the moment. I have to accept and let go my thoughts, but I find it very hard sometimes. An obsessive thought is like: "Wow I didn't think about HPPD". "Oh shit I thought about it". "Ok, accept the thought and let it go". At this time a gave the thought to much power already and it keeps coming back. The main struggling thought is: "I didn't think about it".

These anxiety thoughts are the worst when I'm talking to people or when I have to think. They are constantly in my mind. "I didn't think about it". "I have to keep concentrated at the converstaion", "What is he/she thinking about me?". Or when I have to do math or have to use my insight all I can think of are my obessive thoughts. It is very annoying and it fuels my anxiety. I think it is an OCD thing.

Does anybody has got some tips and tricks to deal with these kind of obsessive thoughts? I meditate and learning mindfulness at the moment.

My main goal in this forum is to give and get tips and tricks and to help eachother out when we need eachother the most. For my whole story and stuff I have done to get to the point where I am today, scroll down!

For now,

Have a good day!

Peace,

Luuk