Alright so... last year i was drinking and smoking weed EVERYDAY. I been sober from Alcohol for about 9 months now. Haven't smoked weed in about 7 or 8 months. I figured if i quit the Drugs and drinking i would start to feel Normal again. ( i did drugs for about 8 years straight to give myself a reason to feel the way i do ) After quitting i was questioning if i was Real or not because everything looks fake. Anyway i figured since i quit it would change and i would slowly start to feel normal again. I am straight pissed off right now. I still take my zoloft and don't have anxeity, but i still feel fake and like everything is unreal or im dreaming all the time. What the hell am i doing wrong? I went to the Hospital a few months ago to ask them if they got any info on it.. The dr's and Nurses were stunned and had no idea what i was talking about. ( REALLY DISCOURAGING ) when a Hospital says they don't even know what that is... My Dr i see is young and she knows a bit about it. So i got mixed reviews. I seen a Psychiatrist when i was like 16 or 17 She said it was from playing video games that i feel unreal.. like really? lol... So i am still sober, but the drugs and beer are calling me. It's reminded me of the good times i had during the summer partying ect. i hate how my friends can do all the drugs in the world and they wake up 100% fine the next day, but i quit all that stuff and still wake up unreal NON STOP mine is 24/7. This is pissing me right off. I hear some people have it for their entire life. My Dr even told me to accept the possibility that it will never go away. I ain't depressed and feeling useless, but the unrealism is still here NON STop. What the hell should i do? I hate how some people snap outta it and here i am being fake. Had a really bad episode last month. Grandparents started arguing and i tend to feed off of peoples emotions. So i soak in all that rage and snap. I kicked the Garage door right down and was gonna light the place on fire, but my gf calmed me down. I was 100% extatic. Haven't had that happen since, but i really thought i would feel better if i quid drugs and alcohol. No Change. Now my Depression is coming back because its summer and my friends are all partying ect. I feel so lost guys..... im 24 and been like this since i was 15 or 16. Since quitting the drugs though it feels like i woke up from an 8 year dream. I think.. oh yeah i remeber when me and friends in school just did * this and this * like it was last year.. meanwhile it was many years ago. Feels like an elastic band and im at the end being pulled while my friends are all ahead. and i just NOW snapped and caught up. I feel fake, but since quitting weed i feel like i woke up kinda. Like i was numb for those years. Im really lost here.