Bad anxiety with doctors

[Msbutterfly]

I grew up in an abusive home and was in an abusive relationship. My fear is doctors. My abusive bf never or rarely let me see a doctor for injuries he caused. I did finally leave him.

When I sought help for old injuries (some required surgery) some doctors judged and blamed me for my past situation. Now I feel really anxious if I have to see one. My whole body trembles while in the exam room. It's like I'm bracing myself for negative comments. I tend to be quiet and not reveal a lot , answer questions they ask me but otherwise clam up. My parents and two older siblings have blamed and judged me too. I have trouble trusting people.