To start, I'm not formally diagnosed with either anxiety or depression; I just know that I have panic attacks in most social situations and find it near impossible to deal with my own life sometimes. I'm also at high risk for ASD.

I haven't been able to function lately. I had a terrible two-or-so week stint a week ago, thought I was better for a week, but going to bed Monday night I knew I was gonna wake up with a giant pit in my stomach. And I did, and I didn't want to get out of bed or go to school and I felt like I was gonna throw up. I still do, but worse, and I've been having ongoing thoughts of death and suicide and I don't know what to do and I'm supposed to see a doctor towards the end of the month but I don't know if I can make it that far without having a breakdown or having to check myself into a mental ward so I don't throw myself off a cliff.