Hey everyone. Its hard to believe for me, that I have gotten to a point where I can no longer deal with this on my own. I have been suffering anxiety all of my life, but this summer it has reached a new peak. Before, I just worried about simple things, like school work and crushes, and I got sweaty palms, my hands would shake and I would get headaches. But now, it has gotten so much worse. I had probably the worst headache of my life in the summer, like a weird burning sensation that eventually went away when I massaged it (probably just a pinched nerve) Of course being me, I jumped to brain tumor and I just worried about it for the longest time and I never talked about it, because I didn't want anyone to tell me to get it "checked", I was in this weird state of denial. Anyways, then I went on vacation and everything went away, I had no problems, it was amazing. Then when I got back, I got a cold, but I couldn't go home because my mom has myelodisplasia (precursor) to leukemia and i couldn't get her sick, so I'm sure this stressed me out. I felt like it didn't, but it must have, right? Oh yah, my mom got this diagnosis, which has completely changed her life, and our familys well. countless drs appointments, she was stuck in the hospital numerous times. At this point i was having a lot of symptoms, a constant burning and tingling in the back of my head, which again I associated with a serious illness of my brain, then tingling and numbness and the worst of all, a sense of unreality, like everything that was happening was distance, and I felt unattached. After I went to the dr finally, she said u r fine. but recommended medication, but my parents said NO. after this visit, i felt so much better, i was almost back to myself, no more symptoms because I got the verification that i needed, that i was okay, but i was mentally exhausted. But then I started college, which has inflicted a new series of anxiety symptoms ( sense of that unreality again, and now eye floaters) and just recently got into a relationship thats moving too fast and which i have talked about with him and things r better, i just have never even really dated dated before. Throughout this whole period of time, I feel like I have changed as a person. Not necessarily good or bad, just a different perspective on my life, like i just don't feel like "me." Its just the weirdest feeling ever, and its the worst when I'm alone in my thoughts. they usually are as follows: why am i different now? Why do i feel like this? Is there something actually wrong with me? No, its just anxiety? But why can't i stop it? why can't i feel like myself again? Who am i? Sometimes I slap myself to try to feel normal, but of course that doesn't work. I don't know what to do anymore, i can't handle it, its so overwelhming and it came out of nowhere. Please help me.