Quote Originally Posted by gypsylee View Post
6'8" and 400lbs? Are you actually a bear?

Well I know this lifestyle, although I've always hated weed because it doesn't relax me one bit, just makes my anxiety ten times worse.

Edit: Just thinking about weed and anxiety.. I think there's a huge misnomer out there that because it's a plant it's safe. I agree it's safer than alcohol. But the weed that's around now is so f'in strong (because it's grown hydroponically and bred to maximise THC content) it could be classed as a hallucinogenic. I'm no weed expert because I've never liked it but imagine what those chemicals do to the brain. I've known a LOT of pot smokers in my time and they end up really scattered and depressed. None of them have good lives.

So you know you have to stop the drinking and drugs right? But easier said than done! So cut down a bit. Take the anti-deps every day because they have to be regular (though the alcohol and weed sort of cancels them out).

It's a massive challenge to turn this shit around - it took me ending up in intensive care for a week and permanent damage to my pancreas. That was at 35yo (I'm 41 now). I was extreme with the drinking but in a way I'd rather that than a lifetime of alcoholism or pot smoking or whatever. Not that my life is awesome right now but it's a hell of a lot better.

You're only 23 so you've got time on your side. It's up to you really. If you want to fix it, I'd say start with seeing a good GP (if you can find one). They can help you with all sorts of stuff like drug and alcohol counselling, diet and exercise, therapy for anxiety and depression etc. At least in Australia they can, and it doesn't cost anything much.

Good luck
Gypsy x
Just seen my Dr Today.. she said i could try Zoloft tomorrow. and to not stop drinking... cold turkey.. yet i fear drinking and i just took a small puff of weed and it made things worse, but i feel like i want it.. i will be seeing a psych to deal with the not feeling real... cause this feeling of unreal in my head keeps trigging... * forever* * forever* * forever* and its scaring me and making me cry and feel like ending my life is the only way to stop the feelings.