I've had a very bad few days. My stepdad's father had a massive stroke and we are just waiting for him to die. I wasn't close to him at all but I'm heartbroken for my stepdad and the idea of a stroke is sending my anxiety into outer space. I am building a huge reptile cabinet to keep myself busy but it's not enough. I can't get myself away from self destructing. I've had a 12 pack of shipyard and a huge bottle of Apple pie moonshine and thankfully I ran out of booze. But it's not enough to dull my anxiety and I'm freaking out. I have no good coping skills for huge events so I don't know what to do. I've drank too much booze to take my Ativan so I kind of screwed myself. I'm building like a man possessed but I can go fast enough to get away from my feelings. Please help.