In July of this year I woke up in the middle of the night with an extreme feeling of derealization, the stomach flu, and what became a 5 day panic attack that sent me to the ER. Before then, I was perfectly normal and able to function, and ever since then I have been a complete wreck. I have a constant feeling of dread, depression, and EXTREME anxiety rolled into one that is destroying my life. Keeping in mind that it was a very stressful day, parents had a huge fight and I had to shelter my little sister from it / watch the cops take my drunk mother away (but I have seen worse and experienced nothing like this).

So here I am almost 4 months later feeling like this is the end of the line at only 22 years old. Tonight I had serious feelings of wanting suicide, the first time that I've really considered it as an actual option. I went to a psychiatrist that put me on 2.5 MG of lexapro last week. I'm not sure if it was panic for no reason or a bad reaction, but after taking that small dose I completely flipped out and the anxiety went back to a 10/10 for a couple days. It felt like a terrible chemical reaction / almost as if I had taken ecstasy and only had the hangover effect. So now I am apparently unable to take medication to help me (I'd rather not anyway, but I was desperate). My brother also died 2 weeks ago, which wasn't the cause of the anxiety by any means, but made me depressed.

I recently moved back in with my parents after being on my own for 5 years before this all started happening. My mom is an alcoholic in denial, and my dad is a power controlling asshole. They also believe nothing is really happening and this is some cry for attention. They only make me pay a small amount of rent, but they fight constantly and I can't stand to hear my mom even talk now (shes always drinking). Is it possible that things just piled up causing me to have a nervous breakdown? Right now the anxiousness in my head is overwhelming, and if it's not that then its a very deep fear coupled with sadness CONSTANTLY. While it seems to be over NOTHING, could it be subconsciously that I need to get out of my parents house? I'm just hoping that this has a reason that can be solved... but it feels much more physical than something so simple.

I really want to feel better again. I don't know how I developed panic disorder and GAD in one night, and would love some insight. I'm going to a psychologist tomorrow for some CBT therapy and to talk, but I'd love to hear that this can go away and that there is a reason I started feeling this way Please help me... I'm getting more hopeless every day that this continues.